In search of a family-friendly Ireland

PARENTING:How do Irish businesses and restaurants fare in the booming children's market?

IT TAKES more than high chairs and colouring sets to make restaurants truly “family friendly”, but they are a start.

Kid-sized cutlery, plastic tumblers instead of tall glasses for younger children, extra napkins for the inevitable drink spill, automatic serving of the children’s meals with adult starters and “a corner of the restaurant with TV, DVD and cushions . . .” are all on the top 10 wish list for eating out, devised by the team behind the parents’ information website, mykidstime.

But the top three priorities are: a restaurant where you know children are welcome; a kids’ menu that goes beyond burgers/sausages/chicken nuggets and chips, and reasonable prices.

Restaurants, shopping centres and other businesses have recently copped on to the fact that there are 75,000 babies being born here every year and they have to be catered for, says Maria Moulton, author of Mammy Diaries and a mother of two young children. “If they would only now cop on that there is a recession and do something about their prices!”

A native of Newfoundland in Canada and living in Co Cork, Moulton generally finds people in Ireland very welcoming of children. One gripe she has, though, is all those kerbs that don’t meet the ground at crossing points, so buggies have to be bumped or lifted over them.

Jill Holtz, co-founder of Mykidstime.ie and a mother of two children, believes Ireland has come a long way in becoming more family friendly.

“People here love children and they are very welcoming, it is just that the facilities are not always there.” Scottish-born Holtz moved to Galway in 2002 from Boston, where her eldest daughter was born.

“America is very child friendly in terms of amenities – everything is geared towards going places with kids. My experience in going to the UK is that it is varied; compared with Ireland, I don’t think you necessarily get the warm welcome.”

Next month, Mykidstime is going to ask parents what criteria they use to judge if an establishment is family friendly, in preparation for listings of “top notch” places that will be checked out by mystery shoppers. Shortlists will then be compiled and put to a public vote for “family-friendly” awards.

There are no international standards by which to gauge “family-friendly” holiday destinations, says Gary Breen, operations manager with Fáilte Ireland. The criteria would vary, depending on the context, but there are core measures, he explains.

Many of these are incorporated in a “family- friendly” charter for businesses, which has been piloted in the southeast. “They are things that families expect in a family-friendly environment,” he says. “If they are there, it is not that they thrill them, but if they are not there, they will be very disappointed.”

While the charter is aimed at meeting expectations, Fáilte Ireland encourages businesses to go further, through innovations that would appeal to families. “A big aspect of our training would be the right attitude,” says Breen.

Enterprises signing up to the charter can display a “family-friendly” smiley face sticker. “It is always nice to know that a restaurant is family friendly before you go in, so you are not snarled at,” he points out.

Restaurants need to have sufficient high chairs; to provide baby changing facilities, “in the ladies and ideally in the men’s as well”; offer children’s menus that go “well beyond” chicken nuggets and chips and that are properly priced, and also entertainment, such as colouring sheets.

They are also encouraged not to have tables pre-set but to “build up the table based on the needs of the customer”, to avoid children arriving and within minutes knocking glasses over.

Hotels, for their part, need to have babysitting available on request, play facilities and “how they price the product should take into consideration the need for adjoining rooms”, says Breen.

This programme was started four years ago and now involves more than 100 businesses in an area stretching from The Hook to Dunmore East and Tramore. It has since been extended to north Wexford, will be implemented in the southeast’s urban hubs by May 2012 and is starting to be adopted in other parts of the country.

“At a time when we are seeing a significant substitution of overseas holidays for home holidays, we want to make sure we make the best of that opportunity and that families have a quality home holiday experience,” adds Breen.

Whether it is holidays, day trips or just going about your daily business, what is done well for families with children in this country and where is there room for improvement?

TOILETS

Toilets are undoubtedly one of the biggest issues for parents once they leave home with small children. Primarily it is the lack of them, and then the dirt and design of the ones that are available.

“You want to cry when your child says he wants to go to the toilet,” says Jolene Keating, a mother of two small children who lives in Tallaght, Dublin.

Local authorities clearly do not want the expense of providing and maintaining toilets, which can also be a magnet for anti-social behaviour.

But when many splendid playgrounds have been constructed around the country in the past decade, it is extremely frustrating for parents if there is no public convenience nearby – or if there is one and it is dark and stinking.

The lack of service stations on most of our motorways means all drivers in search of a “comfort stop” have to trawl a bypassed town for facilities, but adults with small children are likely to be forced to take a detour more often.

NAPPY CHANGING

If public toilets are scarce, there are even fewer dedicated – and pleasant – nappy changing areas.

“Changing facilities for babies are horrific,” says Keating. It is the exception, rather than the rule, to find clean and well-equipped baby changing areas.

You would be surprised how often a changing room fails to have a toilet for accompanying parent and/or older children, which means once baby is changed, the buggy has to be manoeuvred into the main toilets.

Another gripe is the provision of changing facilities within ladies’ toilets only – how are dads supposed to change nappies when they are out with children then?

Finally, it seems immoral that some large standalone supermarkets, where many family households spend a major part of their income each week, don’t provide toilets. You can beg for your child to be allowed to use the staff toilets but you should not be put in that position.

BREASTFEEDING

Women who breastfeed when they are out with their babies want to be assured that staff of an establishment are supportive and, in the unlikely event of another customer complaining, would uphold the woman’s legal right to breastfeed in public.

Friends of Breastfeeding offers stickers to businesses that want to indicate that they welcome women who breastfeed their babies. The culture is changing very slowly, says Keating, who is the voluntary organisation’s secretary, but she believes until more women are nursing in public, breastfeeding will continue to be regarded as something a minority of mothers do, rather than the natural way to feed a baby.

Breastfeeding mothers are divided between those who are comfortable feeding anywhere in public and others who like the privacy and peace of a feeding room – if they can find one. But it is a mother’s choice – nobody can ask her to use a separate area.

PLAYGROUNDS

Ireland has come a long way – from a very low base admittedly – in the provision of playgrounds. It is one of the more welcome legacies of the boom years.

Keating is full of praise for the large playground she brings her two small children, Christian (4) and Abigail (2), to in Sean Walsh Park, Tallaght. However, the big frustration is, of course, the lack of public toilets. When nature calls, a trek across the dual carriageway to The Square shopping centre is required.

Derry-born Corinna Moore, a mother of four who moved to Dalkey, Co Dublin, from Chiswick in west London in 2005 when her eldest twin boys were three, thinks Ireland still compares unfavourably to the UK when it comes to playgrounds.

“What I see is really big parks – ones you have to drive to,” she says. “Whereas I think more, smaller play parks in local areas would be a better service to the community.”

EATING OUT

The “Kids Size Me” initiative, whereby child portions of anything on a restaurant menu are available, normally at half the price, seemed like the answer to many a parent’s dream.

But the roll-out of the scheme, which was launched in July by the Restaurants Association of Ireland (RAI) in conjunction with the Nutrition and Health Foundation, is slow.

Forty restaurants out of the RAI’s 660 members are participating so far, according to its chief executive, Adrian Cummins, and the aim is to have at least 100 involved by next year. However, it is not something that “suits the fit” of all restaurants, he says. Fine dining establishments, who do not see many children, are unlikely to rush to embrace it.

Cummins encourages interested families to ask about “Kids Size Me” when they are eating out. “If customers do not demand this, it is not going to fly,” he adds.

HOTELS

“I think hotels that have decided to go after the family market do a good job,” says Holtz. “It is the welcome as much as the ‘things’ that matter.”

Certainly there are some excellent family deals available – look no further than the upcoming mid-term – as hotels struggle to entice people through their doors.

Families have come to expect free access to leisure centres and kids’ clubs; in some cases they will be wooed with free BB for the under-12s too. Free tickets to a nearby family attraction are often thrown in.

But where some hotels fall down is when your family does not conform to the stereotypical two adults and two children.

Larger family rooms can be hard to find and many hotel websites don’t offer booking options beyond two children, while lone parents are excluded from special offers because they don’t qualify for two (adult) people sharing.

ATTRACTIONS

Families on a day out typically head for child-centred attractions, such as play centres and adventure parks, which have mushroomed over recent years. But to be truly family friendly, attractions should surely have cross-generational appeal. So how do our cultural institutions, heritage sites and other more adult destinations deal with younger visitors?

Children need to be engaged at their eye level; information displays should be quick and easy to read and they like nothing better than hands-on educational features. “Living history”, with dramatic re-enactments and characters in costume, appeals to old and young alike – Bunratty Castle and Folk Park, Wicklow Gaol and Dalkey Castle Heritage Centre are just three of the places that do that well.

The National Museum runs a good programme of family events at its various branches, likewise the National and other art galleries – and of course the free admission to these is extremely family friendly. But interactive exhibits leave much to be desired – too few of them and not always in working order.

Holtz singles out the Hunt Museum in Limerick as a good example of a “grown-up” institution being family friendly, with different treasure hunt sheets for two different age groups.

Ticket prices and structures can be a bone of contention. Lack of flexibility around “family tickets” or the absence of sliding scales for increased numbers of children is frustrating.

Although most play centres charge only for children, other very child- focused attractions can have hefty adult admission fees. “Paying for adults, when it’s a children’s thing, makes a family day out really expensive,” says Moore.

She also criticises play centres, and indeed cinemas, that display notices saying only food bought on the premises can be consumed there, yet only offer unhealthy options, often at inflated prices, that push up the cost of a trip out.