Growing up in a house full of boys is the one thing that will always stand to me. My four brothers are an inspiration to me, for different reasons. I am proud of their life decisions and achievements; I have always looked up to them as role models who are goodnatured and strong, and they have given me guidance in my own life.
All three of my older brothers are living abroad. The youngest brother is living in Ireland but he’d be gone if he weren’t still in secondary school.
My eldest brother left for Australia in 2007, which was an awful shock to me as a 14-year-old. He was followed by another brother who moved to the US in 2010, and the third brother left for Australia in 2011.
People emigrate for different reasons: jobs, studies, experience and, sometimes, because they want to start a new life. For anyone who emigrates, there can be a fear of never returning. If they can’t get employment or opportunity, leaving Ireland might be their only option. My family is lucky that leaving Ireland was my brothers’ best option.
One of my brothers travelled to get more life experience while he was still young; another moved for a scholarship he earned; the last moved to get new work experience.
Facing uncertainty
Although it may be hard for me, it's much harder to leave than to be left behind. My brothers didn't know when they would return or whether it would work out.
They were brave to face the fears and uncertainty of leaving everything behind: their family, their friends, their community, and even their local GAA club.
Two of them left alone, with no one there to hold their hand. I always assumed it would be easier for me to see the brothers who can come home for holidays, but it’s a mixture of excitement and dread when they do, because they have to leave again.
The phrase “Technology is a great thing” is used in our house a lot. I’m forever showing my parents what adventures the boys are getting up to through pictures on Facebook, and it’s easy to Skype all the time. But some things are still hard, especially with differing time zones.
When my grandfather died in 2009, we told my brother in Australia after the burial because we feared he’d try to come home but wouldn’t make it back in time for the funeral.
My mother had to break the news to him over the phone. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to hear.
No comfort from Ireland
My brother in the US was knocked off his bicycle by a car and was in intensive care at 21 years of age. I knew there was no way I could comfort him from Ireland. I couldn't have any physical contact with him. I couldn't hug him and tell him it would be okay.
A lot of things that we used to take for granted are now much more precious to my family. It’s great having brothers home for Christmas, but there’s always someone missing. Not having a brother’s unique presence at Christmas changes the feel of the holiday.
If they’re not at a family occasion, such as a wedding or a significant birthday, I always think about what they would do if they were there.
Some days, I find myself reminiscing about what my brothers would get up to if they were home: the sports they would play, the programmes they would watch and the friends they would spend their time with.
When I have difficult or joyous moments, I miss them being around to share the experience.
I’ve always thought my brothers’ emigration was just part of life. I’ve never seen it as a disadvantage. It has broadened their horizons, as well as mine. When I hear about their lives abroad, I get excited about travelling after my degree. Like my brothers, I hope that living in foreign cultures will open my eyes and help me always to be a good person.
Aislinn Barry is a member of the Jigsaw Galway Youth Advisory Panel and of the Youth Advisory Panel to Headstrong, the National Centre for Youth Mental Health.