Losing weight was a life-or-death situation for me. I was taken off the heart and lung transplant list in 2009 because I was too heavy for the operation. I was 18½stone and I felt like an old person, even though I’m only 40 now.
I have a congenital deformity of the heart. It can be treated after birth with a procedure but, if left untreated, it develops into Eisenmenger syndrome, which I have. It results in pulmonary hypertension caused by holes in the heart, and it affects the lungs.
When I went to primary school and high school in Thailand, I couldn’t do any of the activities all my friends were doing. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I knew I turned blue and couldn’t breathe sometimes.
In Thailand, I was diagnosed with a heart condition. My parents are farmers and don’t have much money. So every time I got sick, they would give me a paracetamol.
When I came to Ireland in 2000, the hospitals here knew more about my condition. My ex-husband, an Irish man, had VHI cover for me so I was able to go to Freeman Hospital in Newcastle upon Tyne, one of the top heart and lung transplant hospitals in Europe. At the time, lung transplants were not done in Ireland. (Lung transplants were first carried out in the Mater hospital in 2005).
Because of my diagnosis, I was put on medication. In the past seven or eight years, I have been back and forth to the Mater hospital. I was sick all the time. I couldn’t walk or breathe properly. I was coughing blood and the weight wasn’t helping.
I knew I needed to exercise to lose weight but it was impossible for me. I was a size 26-28. I couldn’t go out. I was breathless from going up the stairs in my house. It was very serious.
To undergo surgery, I had to get my weight down to 12½stone. I felt like giving up. I joined Motivation Weight Clinic in Cork and I went down to 16 stone.
Very depressed
The doctors didn't think I was serious about getting down to 12½ stone. I was very depressed. Trying to lose weight is not cheap. I had no money; I was depending on disability benefit. My marriage was gone. I was living by myself.
On my budget, I could buy a lot of rice cheaply to make me full. Buying healthy food is expensive. I tried very hard.
I was able to go to Motivation with the help of my brother and friends. It was expensive; it cost about €600-€700. I didn’t believe the ads about Motivation on TV. But I thought I had nothing to lose.
I changed my mental attitude about food and broke down my meals into five or six small meals a day with some protein in them. I was brainwashed by Motivation, but in a good way. We’re all brainwashed by television every day.
I stopped thinking about food all the time. Instead, I started to think about the benefits I was getting from losing weight. I would have tried anything.
I thought of getting a gastric band procedure and I actually wrote to my consultant to ask if it would be possible. But I was told that because of the Eisenmenger syndrome, a general anaesthetic meant that I might not wake up after it.
Magic medicine
With the support I got, the weight started to come off. I'm now 13 stone and I'm back on the heart and lung transplant list. I am on state-of-the-art medication. I call it magic medicine. It should maintain me for another five years. But I have to keep the weight down and I want to lose another half a stone.
The doctors are very pleased with my weight and say there’s nothing to stop me from having a transplant if I need it.
At the moment, they’re aiming for an operation on one side of the lungs and they could stitch the holes in my heart. Five years ago, the doctors said there was nothing they could do for me.
Progress has been made in medicine. It’s much better news now. I still have to use an oxygen machine, but not every day. I know when my body starts to shut down and I can’t breathe. Then I put on the oxygen machine for an hour or two. Before, it was on nearly all the time.
If I get a cold, I have to go on antibiotics straight away because my immune system has diminished. I can’t take a chance.
Great hope
Now I have been given great hope for the future. My life is worth living. I can dress in whatever way I like and not feel shy. People don't stare at me anymore. When I was fat, I had to use a walking stick.
I see my doctor every four or six months. I still have to be careful. If I do too much exercise, I cough blood. So I can’t walk distances.
It means I can’t burn off calories. To help me lose weight, I drink two litres of water a day.
In 2006, I was in a coma for a month after getting septicaemia. My family was told I had a 40 per cent chance of recovery. When I woke up the South Infirmary, the doctor was shocked.
After everything I've been through, I can now see a bright future.
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