The process of change and self-exploration, insight and understanding requires patience. Sometimes it is like the old Japanese farmer story, according to psychologist Dr Michael Arloski. “The farmer was so anxious to have his fields produce a harvest that at night he would go out and pull on the rice stalks to make them grow faster. Sometimes we too are tempted to push the river and realise that all we can do is be aware and find a way to ride the current.”
Dr Arloski encourages us to trust the river but to keep the paddle in our hands. We did not create the river but we choose how to live with what it brings us.
Confidence and conviction are essential for change. If you don’t believe you will succeed, you probably won’t. Believing you can lose the weight or run “a couch to 5km” or achieve your goal whatever it might be is critical. Having the tenacity to accomplish what you set out to do is paramount too. Desperately wanting and wishing for something to change is not enough.
Preparing for action is a key stage in behaviour change.
Plan to succeed
Planning to succeed may sound like a given, but when you look more closely at what planning actually involves, it means you have to decide exactly what you will do to achieve your goals. This may mean writing a meal plan, selecting core recipes, making a shopping list or writing your own personal action plan.
Committing your plan to paper makes it much more likely to be realised as it compels you to really think about what you want to change and how you are going to do it.
It is evident that people who make permanent changes to their eating and exercise regime are much more likely to lose weight and keep it off, compared with those who choose a “quick-fix” solution. Change takes time. But making a definite plan of where you are going to start can help.
Write out a clear goal (it can be anything – I am going to improve the quality and quantity of carbohydrate in my diet). Remember to make it “smart” – specific, measurable, attainable, real and time-based.
For the next six weeks I am going to have one clean carbohydrate at each of my three meals, and water and protein-rich snacks in between. That means I will start my day with porridge instead of cornflakes, eat only two slices of wholemeal soda bread for lunch and keep my potato, quinoa, rice or pasta confined to one-quarter of my dinner plate. I will use a smartphone photograph or food diary to monitor my success. I will review my progress with a body composition reading after six weeks. I will compare this to my measurements before I started curtailing carbohydrate.
Think about your goal and complete the following:
Why I want to realise this goal?
What am I prepared to do to get there?
What could get in my way?
How can I deal with these situations?
What steps do I need to make to get me there?
What will be my reward for reaching this goal?
What kind of help do I need?
Who will help me?
When will I start making change? It takes a number of weeks to form new behaviours. Once you are confident your first change is well established, then you can move to another. Occasional lapses are part of the journey, as you endeavour to entrench long-term habits. Learning to deal with slips and bad days is part of the cycle.
Each time you fail, you learn something that can help you the next time you try. Reflecting on what threw you or got in your way provides useful insights. So too does thinking about incentives that helped you in the past and analysing the circumstances of previous successful change or relapse.
Look for the reasons you sabotaged yourself or for what impeded your progress. Then you can devise a strategy around this for future change.
Una Rees is a busy working mum from Stillorgan, Dublin, who loves to cook. Having decided to lose a few pounds, Una finds she can still enjoy her food without denying or starving herself. Here are her top tips.
Una starts her day with some indulgent protein-containing Greek yoghurt, her favourite berries and a drizzle of manuka honey. Her trick is she serves her breakfast mix in a ramekin dish placed on a coloured plate. Great portion control.
Una makes her own delicious homemade soups for lunch. She throws in a helping of lentils or beans for protein and satiety. She avoids using bowls as she associates a bowl of soup with lots of bread and butter. Instead she serves her soup in her favourite large mug with a handle. Her hands cup the mug instead of the bread.
In work Una keeps a little box of goodies close by to avoid picking at the biscuits. Inside are small packs of Ryvita, individual servings of gouda and edam, little packs of almonds, apples and bananas.
She still loves her low-fat latte or cappuccino most mornings which she counts as one of her three dairy a day. She has also increased her herbal teas throughout the rest of the day. She is experimenting with hot beverages made with boiling water, cinnamon, honey and cider vinegar for her arthritis, when she doesn’t feel like herbal tea.
Dinner in minutes is possible with her favourite wok. She prepares veg in advance and tosses in fresh beansprouts and prawns with a minimum amount of oil for quick tasty suppers. Again Una serves dinner in a large bowl rather than on a 12-inch plate, which helps with portion control.
On-the-go snacks or after gym, Una enjoys either some toasted almonds from Starbucks or a banana.
For dessert she loves vanilla-infused Greek yoghurt (she adds the vanilla pods herself) with some warmed winter fruit compote with cloves and cinnamon.
Successful weight-losers use mindful strategies to help them:
Cover goodies that you don’t want to be tempted by in cling film or stash them away in Tupperware containers in the fridge or freezer. Wash and precut sweet vegetables so that when you open the fridge door they are in your eye line.
Limit the sweets and treats in the house and make it difficult to access them in the house at all. One couple bought a very loud bell and attached it to the handle of the treat press.
Eat only at the table without distractions. Only sole cups of tea allowed in the TV room.
Have a visual cue of a colourful fruit bowl greet you when you come in from work. Have a glass of water before you start preparing your meal to take the edge off your thirst.
Eat slowly and remove the serving plates with leftovers from the table when everyone is served.
Paula Mee is a dietitian and a member of the Irish Nutrition and Dietetic Institute.
Email paula@paulamee.com Tweet @paula_mee
