One morning in the last century when I worked on a building site in Rathcoole, I was told to meet a young German student who would be with us for some months. I was immediately baffled by his determination to talk about work and nothing but work. Any questions as to how he was getting on, how he liked Ireland and so on were answered by a question about the job and how the building site was organised. None of us knew what to make of him.
No change
Nothing has changed. I recently heard an English manager talk about how disconcerting she found it when a colleague visiting from Germany launched into a discussion on work topics the moment he stepped through the door.
On a BBC programme, a young woman from Germany complained that when she was working in England “the people are talking all the time about their private things . . . ‘What’s the plan for tonight?’ and all the time drinking coffee”.
This goes a long way back. My father paid two Germans who were interned in the Curragh during the second World War (internees were allowed to leave as long as they were back by midnight) to help him clean the river running through our farm.
He complained later that he had never worked so hard in his life as he tried to keep up with them for the week it took to get the job done. All they did during the day was work, work, work.
But here’s the thing: when they had finished the day’s work they washed and shaved and took their good clothes out of their suitcases and walked the five miles to Newbridge to socialise. Apparently the Newbridge women were very taken by German internees who scrubbed up well.
Go to Berlin today and you’ll see a modern version of the same thing. No Facebooking or shooting the breeze during the day at work – but when work is over it’s over and they’re gone and it’s family time or play time. Shops even close on Sundays in big cities.
Working day
I wish we could try this approach in Ireland instead of having people working all hours of the day and evening, often on tasks that could be done within the limits of an eight-hour day. But it isn’t going to happen, for all sorts of reasons.
For an interesting read on how Germans work shorter but produce more and the work-play culture, see: http://bit.ly/germansworkandplay
On the dry On another topic, I promised last week to include some tips during the month for people who are "on the dry" for January. If you managed to stay off the booze, well done.
As you go through the rest of the month, remind yourself that “I want this” – the “this” is not drinking alcohol until February. Your brain will tell you that you’re missing out, that you shouldn’t be giving yourself a hard time, that it’s all the doing of those miserable health police and so on. Counter this by reminding yourself that his is something you actually want.
Notice the rituals that trigger the urge to drink. Perhaps when preparing dinner your habit is to drink two glasses of wine before you get the plate to the table. Resist the urge – it will pass when the trigger passes. Although your mind may tell you it will stay forever, it won’t.
And you’d probably be doing yourself a favour by staying out of the pub or else being the first to leave. Drinking sessions get very boring if you’re not drinking and pubs, after all, are designed to sell you alcohol.
And eating helps too: if you like the “hit” of a drink on an empty stomach for instance, eating will take the edge of the urge to drink.
If you eat too much you can always resolve to lose weight in Lent which is just around the corner – see? There’s always a bright side.
pomorain@yahoo.com @PadraigOMorain Padraig O'Morain is accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His latest book is Mindfulness for Worriers. His daily mindfulness reminder is free by email