ASK THE EXPERT:How to choose the right childcare and prepare your child for your return to work
Q I am currently on maternity leave and am investigating childcare options for my son when I return to work in February next year having taken my full maternity leave entitlement.
This means my son will be nearly one year old when I go back to work. I would be very interested to hear your views on which childcare option you think would be best for this age of child – creche, childminder, nanny, etc.
My son is currently a very happy and placid baby. He is very content, sleeps through the night and is meeting all his milestones. But he is obviously used to being cared for only by his mammy and I have rarely not been around in the past eight months – only the very occasional night out with my husband when my mother has looked after him.
I am very concerned that the change in February will be very upsetting for him and will potentially cause him lasting harm – watching the 21st Century Childprogramme on attachment has raised the question even more in my mind.
Unfortunately, at the moment we can’t afford to have me stay at home permanently but I want to try to minimise the impact of my return to work on my son so any advice you would have would be greatly appreciated.
AThere are good and bad things associated with all types of childcare and so there is no obviously "best" choice to make.
Properly run and accredited creches are always worth considering. One of the benefits of a creche is that all of the staff will have relevant childcare qualifications and the facilities must meet stringent standards as set down by the HSE. This gives many parents great comfort to know their child will be safe.
By their nature, creches are always available and you won’t have to worry about a childminder getting sick or wanting to go away on holidays, thereby leaving you with a potential childcare dilemma.
Against that, however, some babies and children can feel overwhelmed by the level of social activity where there are very many children being cared for. Some research suggests that, for children up to the age of two, spending more than 30 hours a week in creches can have some negative impact on the later development of behavioural skills such as self-control, co-operation and sharing and also leads to higher levels of aggression.
In contrast, children aged two and over who start in creches receive benefits in all areas of their development.
Childminding is, still, a largely unregulated sector of childcare. This means that you have to be vigilant in choosing a childminder and may have to base your choice on the recommendations of others.
Some childminders have a very wide spread of ages that they care for, as well as their own children. You might like this as a form of extended family for your child or you may feel that his age-specific needs may get overlooked in the busyness of the childminder’s home.
Having a childminder or a nanny come to your home may give you the peace of mind that your child is receiving individual care and attention.
This must be balanced with your confidence in the quality and experience of the care being offered and that person’s willingness to bring your child out to engage in social activities on a regular basis.
Irrespective of the care you choose, your child will probably be somewhat stressed by the separation from you. This is a very natural part of children’s experience.
Research shows that stress levels, as measured by the level of the stress hormone cortisol, are high in the early weeks of separation for children and they reduce but don’t entirely dissipate over the following months, even though the children can appear outwardly settled and not to be showing any distress after the first few weeks.
The stress that toddlers can experience can be minimised by a phased introduction to either the creche or the childminder and by keeping the time in childcare to a minimum, perhaps with flexible work arrangements.
It is also alleviated by your empathetic acknowledgement to your son that being away from you can be hard.
This means that parents need to be able to attend to, and to comfort their children in the evenings to bring them back to a kind of emotional equilibrium, ready for the next day.
This isn’t always easy when it coincides with having to get dinner ready and children ready for bed!
Being in childcare won’t disrupt the security of your child’s attachment to you as long as he receives consistent, warm, loving and reliable care in whatever childcare option you choose.
The rhythms of the day and the consistency of your, and your partner’s, responses to your child in the evenings and at weekends will further cement the secure attachment your son appears to have.
- Readers' queries are welcome and will be answered through the column, but David regrets he cannot enter into individual correspondence.
Questions should be e-mailed to healthsupplement@irishtimes.com