1 Set the tone We've found it's important to be positive about food and to ensure that children – and anyone else in the house – are respectful about food and the people who prepare it. So it's not acceptable to say "That's disgusting" or "I hate that", and everyone has to take this approach. Encourage the kids to thank whoever prepared the meal.
2 Remove distractions If you are having difficulty getting a child to sit at the table and eat, check whether there are any distractions. Turn off the television, whether or not it's in the same room, and ban devices, books and toys from the table. This makes the meal more pleasurable and sociable.
3 Assess the messages they are getting Kids pick up negative signals about food from grown-ups. If someone around them is constantly dieting and avoiding food, or a grown-up makes a face every time vegetables are mentioned, they'll mirror that behaviour. Make sure everyone around them is positive about food and open to trying new things.
4 Sometimes kids just aren't hungry and that's okay Kids have days when they're hungry and days when they're not, so it makes no sense to require them to clear their plates. They'll eat if they're hungry, so try not to stress about it.
5 Avoid allowing dislikes to become set in stone Don't allow a supposed dislike of particular foods to become part of a child's identity.
Kids change their minds, so we have a rule that the kids must try everything that is prepared for them, but they can say “I don’t like it today,” and they don’t have to eat it, but they must try it the next time. They get used to this if you stick to it and it really helps.
This morning our five-year-old tried galia melon and declared he didn’t like it at all, but he went back for another try an hour later and spent the whole day asking for more. Once kids get used to trying new things, they might like to give different meals star ratings.
6 They eat what we eat We learned through trial and error that it is better for kids to eat what we eat and get used to new textures and strong flavours, rather than condemning them to bland food, even as babies.
7 Try preparing fruit and vegetables in new ways With smaller kids, giving them fun descriptions can help. Runner beans help you run faster, obviously, and sprouts make you sprout. Imagine what rocket does . . . In our house the kids now fight over the last of the Brussels sprouts. Try shredding them and sautéing them with almonds or bacon pieces. Kids find carrots more appetising if they are cut in batons rather than rounds and if tomatoes are sliced crossways they taste better than if sliced end to end. An apple flower is a fun way to get kids to eat fruit: peel and cut an apple into segments and arrange around a small plate with some banana discs in the middle.
8 Don't be afraid of spice, but introduce it slowly Kids will get used to eating flavoursome food but you need to take it gradually and build up the flavour.
9 Use peer pressure If you have friends whose kids are good eaters, see if you can put them together for a meal. Watching other children eat can influence what and how your kids eat.
10 Children love getting involved Get kids involved in preparing family meals and let them help with making aspects of the meal.
Our kids like to make their own salad dressings, for example, and they like to cut up fruit for fruit salads. The five-year-old helps with measuring out spices for curries and the older kids like to weigh ingredients for baking – as well as licking the spoon, of course.
11 Children love facts Try getting older children involved in some analysis of different foods and how good or bad they are for you, or how they affect your body. For example, get them to check the salt, sugar and fibre levels in different brands of cereal and decide which are better for them. Let them take ownership of having a healthy diet.
12 Play "guess the ingredients" Children really enjoy trying to work out what is in a meal and getting to know how ingredients work.
