Revered Taoiseach . . . is a fitting mode of address in Easter Week. You will be hoisted outside the GPO, leading the GOP (Grand Old Party) as the Army of The Republic shows its paces. You will remind us, once again, of the sacrifices and bravery of the men and women being so remembered - the Rebellion of the "People of No Property". Were that measure to judge The Revolution, it has succeeded beyond the wildest expectations of its creators .
The People of No Property are now among the most prolific owners of property in the Western World - and going East with a hunger. In my travels, I hear the same mantra, "What is it about you Irish - you are buying up the world!"
I hear it in Britain, Hungary, Croatia, Poland. Friends hear it in Turkey, Bulgaria, Dubai and South Africa. In Spain it's a given - you cannot speak out loud in English (!) from your sun balcony without another Irish person in the next looking sharply at you and making a quick character judgement.
As I do myself, about, say the New Money in Marbella, one-time playground of rich Arabs (while their own subjects were in penury). Now colonised by Irish , of similar ostentation, where the chatter is all about prices for "frontline" locations. Frontline, dear Leader, does not mean in the line of fire for brave men and women dying for Future Generations or anything so presumptive - it means property nearer the beach.
Listening to them, I am tempted to wish a few flash floods on their frontlines, so idle is the chatter, so uncaring their opinions about - anything.
All children of our sainted little Republic, dear Revered Leader, now ensconced among the Nations of the Earth, as wished by its progenitors 90 years ago.
Which bring me onto a few of your recent contributions to the Property Debate. Last year, returning from your holidays in Donegal, you announced, with the gravitas that only a Leader can command, that the "greatest problem" facing the country was "one-off housing in rural Ireland". You had been on holidays, therefore switched off from the seasonal culling ( by shotgun and Magnum .45) of the criminal classes of your native city. They impose the cull during the summer , to keep the numbers down in feeding grounds for The Family in winter.
To you, Revered One, one-off housing, apparently, was a bigger problem. Last week, you took to task commentators who predicted a downturn in property values. Had your friends listened to the gurus, "they would have lost a lot of money". I interpret that as - had your friends resisted buying a property at, say €350,000 on experts' advice, they would have lost €35,000 - being the (minimum ) 10 per cent annual price increase, of the ensuing year. And yes, €35k is a lot of money to lose, for most people and shows you are in touch with the Common Man, who is glad he did not take the experts' advice. Otherwise, as you suggest "Looka - I woulda lost, Bertie . . .!" By buying , your friends save money! Brilliant logic. Which shows, once again, what a sure touch you have with the Common Man. Which sits oddly with your failure to deliver sufficient Social Housing.
It was threatened on developers to provide a proportion of new housing to "disadvantaged" clients. The developers faced you down. I do understand, People of No Property (sorry, Social Welfare) getting a house at discount in New Westminster Lawns would no longer be "disadvantaged" but would certainly dent the profits of developers who have paid their Party dues. The famous FF Builders' Lobby managed to buy its way out of that government promise.
As indeed they managed to "buy" - and I mean "buy" - so many planning permissions for so much of this land , which the naive and idealistic Rebels of 1916 went to the execution wall to "free" - for the Free Market. God bless 'em, Revered Leader, in Their Remembered Innocence, this Easter.
