If you're still depending on the aroma of coffee to sell your house, you'll need bridging finance even before you sniff a buyer - given the rising cost of beans and the quantity of properties on the market. Withdrawals from auctions and an increase in private treaty sales mean more properties are hanging around longer - and you've got to try harder.
Think seduction. You must lure buyers, tempt them, hope they'll fall in love with something, even if it's a pink en suite. Think of this season's fashion "must-have" - the mini-skirt - and you are edging towards minimalism, while discarding clutter.
First impressions count. Just as with gleaming teeth, front doors, brasses and plants on the steps all make a difference. You won't have time to repaint the front door but make an effort with the brasses, run plants up one side of the steps and take care to sweep the approach.
Gardens also matter. Front as well as back, but you might have to put the dog in the kennels while you're selling. Landscape gardener Dessie Donoghue's advice might be worth heeding, as he is regularly brought in to tidy up gardens before a sale. "This generally means weeding, pruning back hedges and shrubs, planting some bedding, keeping the grass cut, the edges trimmed. But some people then let their dogs out into the garden. They have spent years digging holes wherever they want and don't change just because there's a `for sale' sign out front. All our work can be undone within an hour."
Donoghue also advises people to fill containers and hanging baskets rather than leave them empty. "It's incredible the number of people who think they look fine with last year's dead plants still sitting in them." You won't dig a pond overnight, but ponds also need a going-over before a house sale.
Patios cost time and money, so don't even think about getting one in just for the sake of tarting up the sun-trap. But Donoghue recommends some good grouting work. "You can get the gaps between slabs in existing patios filled in very quickly and it can make a big difference." Also, newly-laid gravel in driveways and on paths works wonders. "And don't forget to rake it," he adds.
The hall is an area often neglected just because you simply pass through it, using it only for hanging your coat on the floor or depositing junk mail. So, clean it up, clear the table and plonk a vase of fresh flowers there.
It's the extras that count. You can't bribe the Almighty and get him to have the sun shining every day - but you can keep the lights turned on.
Don't expect estate agents to care as much about your house's appearance as you do. Turn on table lamps before you leave the house clear for them. Don't feel you have to light a fire, though. It will drive the agent mad having to keep it topped up - and there's nothing worse than an empty grate with ashes.
Good selling points are kitchens and bathrooms. Get these rooms right. Put out fresh towels, new soap, and have the floors and mirrors scrubbed.
Interior designer Michele Sweetman suggests hanging mirrors instead of pictures. "It helps create an illusion of space," she says. She's also keen on white paint. "Again, it creates brightness and you often need it in the basement. Fast-drying paint can ensure you can change a room overnight."
She also advises on having screens handy for viewing. "Not only do they help create the notion of an extra room, but they are brilliant for hiding the clutter, such as toys, on viewing days."
She also suggests buying an extra bed if it can be put anywhere in a mezzanine so as to give the impression of extra sleeping space. "Often it's a notion that someone can come to stay that will sell a house."
Another clever idea for creating more space overnight is removing doors, she suggests. You won't have time to get in a bulldozer to remove support walls, so just go for the screwdriver and you can acquire a walk-through area with more light.
Similarly, wooden panels can be removed from doors and replaced with glass. Don't destroy period doors though - they could be your selling point.
Toss net curtains in the bin. Indeed, curtains generally can make or break a room. Swags, pelmets, tie-backs and borders tend to clutter a room - and hide period shutters.
On the other hand, the right curtains can give a room a new look. Ready-made varieties can be hung in minutes. Second-hand wonders give you a unique look instantly. You could try the Curtain and Gift Traders swap shop in Blackrock, Co Dublin.
While you're at it, throw out the paper lanterns. They were fashionable in flatland 20 years ago but they're tacky now. You don't have to get chandeliers, but decent lampshades are no dearer than good coffee beans.
Think Imelda Marcos and think shoes. Some of the prettier numbers might make a nice display beside the radiator where it used to leak. It's cheaper than a new carpet. Line 'em up.
Also, get sheets with flounces to cover the base of the bed - or to hide the space beneath the bed. It makes for a cleaner line.
You'll hardly get time to retile the kitchen floor but throw out the plastic splashback behind the sink and replace it with an array of tiles.
Make sure you know when the agent is going to turn up and then assume they could arrive at any time. And be nice to the agent. Don't pick a row or complain back to head office. The agent is the crucial link with the buyer.
And back to coffee: don't make it unless you intend offering it to potential buyers. There's nothing like a sudden awareness of caffeine deprivation to hook in to the blues. And if you're really, really desperate . . . you could open champagne every time a viewer arrives.