Apartment LivingWhen dogs move in, is it time to set new boundaries asks Edel Morgan

In the wake of a previous Apartment Living about tenant-demands, a former colleague e-mailed me last week about his flatmate's boundary issues. "Things are not working out . . ." he wrote. "He met another guy who has more or less moved in and taken over my apartment. What's more, they have a Jack Russell terrier dog running around the place. "I have had enough and tonight I asked him to leave and be gone by November 1st."

With one extra tenant and a dog more than he bargained for and the feeling of being surplus to requirements in his own home, the November 1st deadline for eviction seems justified. Most people who have rented will have come across the live-in-your-ear-and-rent-the-other-one-out-in flats-type flatmate; you might be one yourself. The entire contents of the fridge are fair game to this person and every room you regard as a personal escape - your bedroom and the bathroom - must be bolted shut to avoid an invasion.

But everyone's idea of acceptable intrusion is different. Some years ago, I lived in Co Galway for a year where I shared a place with two 18-year old girls from the area. I left my bedroom door unlocked when I went home for Christmas and returned to find empty beer cans strewn all over the floor, the contents of drawers spilling out and my bed had been slept in. When I blew a gasket, I was told I was "over-reacting" and was extended an open invitation to go on the rampage in their bedrooms when they were away.

At the other end of the spectrum is the guy who became completely isolated from his Spanish flatmate because their boundaries were too clearly drawn. They each retreated to their bedrooms at night and eventually began to actively despise each other. The frostiness escalated to the point they ignored each other on the landing and used the kitchen at different times. He shared macabre jokes with friends that he was plotting to murder her. Then one day she didn't turn up at the flat. Several months on he still has no idea what happened to her.

Relationships can be tricky when one party owns the apartment and is proprietorial about its fixtures and fittings. It is probably not going to help if you wince every time your unwitting tenant puts your wooden floors in danger when he or she pulls up a chair. The ideal situation is surely a happy medium all of these extremes - a bit of perspective if you are the owner of the apartment and a bit of consideration if you're not - think less Odd Couple and more The Waltons.

emorgan@irish-times.ie