Traffic's a nightmare isn't it?
It's like everyone has forgotten how to drive. Green means Go!, you dozy so-and-so. It's called the OVERTAKING lane for a reason. Honestly, Sunday drivers. Well, indicate first – where did you learn to drive? No, I won't let you merge. You could have thanked me for letting you in? Turn off your beams! Are you trying to melt my windscreen?
Other drivers make me so angry...
That would be road rage – it's a sudden, uncontrolled anger provoked by the actions of another driver. Many of us feel it. Half of us have excessively beeped the horn or made rude gestures at another driver, according to AA Ireland data. One in five of us have deliberately tailgated a driver who has annoyed us, or rolled down the window to shout at them. Cork motorists were about three per cent ahead of Dubliners on tailgating and horn beeping, Dubliners were bigger on rude gestures and rolling down the window for a yell. Galway respondents were least likely to yell out the window but trumped everyone at tailgating. Passive aggressive or what.
But other drivers are just so rude
Let's start with you. You wouldn't shout and flail at someone if they cut in front of you in the supermarket queue, so why do it in the car? "Somehow in the safety and privacy of our own cars, we feel free to shout obscenities, to blame the other driver for making us late or we question the character of someone we don't even know," says psychotherapist with Spectrum Mental Health, Clare O'Brien. "We don't consider what's going on for the other person. They could be under time pressure, have kids shouting in the back, or they find driving quite anxiety-provoking, or maybe the driver in front of them is the problem."
That's not my problem
Your anger is your problem. Being overcome with any emotion has a physiological as well as a psychological impact on us. It can cloud judgement and our ability to drive safely, says O'Brien. "There's a Buddhist saying, being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to feel pain," she says. You can't change another's driving but you can change your reaction to it.
Don't tell me to take a deep breath
Take a deep breath. "When our breathing is shallow, we get focused on the frustration and we can't calm down. To take deeper, more relaxing breaths, we have to focus on doing that. This takes our attention away from the anger. It also lets us focus on productive ways to resolve what's making us angry," says O'Brien. This could mean hanging back, overtaking safely or exiting for a break. Repeating a mantra can help too, she says. "It could be, 'I'm annoyed, but it's not the end of the world'; 'Maybe they are in a hurry, I don't know what's going on with them', or, 'If I'm a few minutes late, that's okay'. It's about switching your attention to anything except what is making you angry." Reframe the problem, because five minutes down the road, it's not going to be a big deal.
What if a driver is deliberately aggressive?
Honking, gestures, flashing or glaring at them will most certainly raise the temperature. Keep moving and concentrate on driving well yourself. If things get intense, pull over where it is safe to do so and take some time out.
Give yourself a chance
Road rage is more likely if you drive in an already heightened state. Leave plenty of time for your journey – better to arrive late in this life than early in the next. Make sure you know where you are going, avoid driving when tired or hungry, or in peak traffic if you can. If it's a long drive with kids, be prepared.
