I make no secret of my admiration for Venezuela's Hugo Chavez. Sadly, El Presidente, as I understand he likes to be addressed, is being increasingly targeted of late by the US propaganda machine, which seems intent on portraying him as a dangerous lefty dictator, writes Kilian Doyle
Hardly surprising, considering he relishes taking every available opportunity to bait President Bush, whether it be by hanging out with his amigo Fidel Castro or offering cheap oil to poor US citizens. This, to the casual observer untrained in the intricacies of international nose-thumbing, may seem a rash tactic.
But Chavez is no fool. His taunts and jibes are made secure in the knowledge that he's safe from US attack, at least for as long as Bush is pre-occupied with his other bogeymen in al-Qaeda, Iran and North Korea, not to mention those evil regicidal maniacs in the pretzel industry.
That said, Chavez isn't necessarily one of the good guys. All politicians, at least all successful ones, are bad guys. You don't get anywhere in politics by being honourable.
I'm telling you all this because another Latin American leader, Manuel Zelaya of Honduras, has now found himself in a spot of bother over his chumminess with Chavez.
Zelaya, anxious to stem the energy crisis in his impoverished country, has been making overtures to Venezuela in the hope of securing cut-price fuel. And Chavez, aware that the US pumps hundreds of millions of dollars into Honduran coffers every year in an attempt to stop the government from associating with the likes of him, is only too delighted to oblige.
In addition, Zelaya put clocks forward by an hour for three months, giving Hondurenos an extra hour of sunshine each day.
He also ordered the drivers of the country's 60,000 state vehicles, including his own limo, to use the cheapest petrol on the market. To cap it all off, state cars have been issued with permits allowing them to venture out on the roads only on certain days of the week.
And what does he get for his efforts? A summons to the White House next month, where he'll presumably be issued with a sharp slap on the wrist from Georgie Boy.
Whether you regard him as a pernicious pinko or a valiant visionary, some people here in Ireland could take a leaf from Zelaya's book.
Not least that pair of gentlemen directly responsible for safeguarding our environment and energy.
I refer of course to Messrs Dick Roche and Noel Dempsey, who, in a magnificent gesture of humility, have ordered themselves Lexus hybrid luxury saloons at the knockdown price of €70,000 a pop.
"Aren't we great? Leading by example, saving energy," they'll croon at each other across the car park in Leinster House, until their backslapping banter is drowned out by the throaty roar of the massive 3.5-litre engines.
And what will they use these wonderwagons for? On a mission to save our green and pleasant land by pontificating to us all about the dangers to the environment posed by people swanning around in huge-engined luxury saloons, one assumes.
The irony can't possibly be lost on them. They've presumably got rational explanations that are beyond the scope of yours truly, a lowly citizen tragically unequipped with the high intellects these two great men indubitably enjoy.
Far be it from me to question the decisions of our elected leaders.
I know my place.
Gentlemen, I am, as ever, your servant. Just don't expect me to be the civil kind.