Motors Editor Michael McAleer was the first Irish journalist to test Porsche's new 911s in Germany Dancing with an icon reborn
It's less a car than a dancing partner. And it's got more long-term pin-up potential than Madonna and Britney Spears combined. Here's a car that's been feature of bedroom walls since Britney's granny went courting.
Porsche is incredibly capable of capturing the pulse of its public. Yet after 40 years it's easy to get out of step. Just look at VW with its Golf. But then again, Porsche did apparently hit a speed bump with the previous model - at least according to its army of fans. Within Porsche, each generation takes on a different model number. This new 911 is known as the 997, its predecessor was the 996 and before that there was the 993. All are unmistakably 911s. Yet the 996 was widely regarded as the imposter, the child that went off the rails.
While it's the best selling 911 ever - with over 160,000 on the roads to date - the look was different. Porsche staff knew in their hearts that the design tweaks and technology add-ons were a step too far for a car whose silhouette is as iconic as the E-Type Jaguar or Model-T Ford.
As Grant Larson, head of advanced design for the 911 told us as we slowly walked around the new car, "you don't change a classic design like this, you nurture it".
The new model is unmistakable even to those for whom 911 is more about New York than a new car. To them it's simply a Porsche. For the world at large the 911 is Porsche. To change it is to end Porsche. And they know it. Hence the return to classic lines.
Amid new meaty models from Ferrari and others - all big snarling grilles and ever-increasing bodies - the 911 seems shy and unpretentious. It can even look a little weak-willed. Yet a couple of minutes in its company and you suddenly realise in one Pauline wave that what you have before you is a classic.
From the front, the famous lights had been adjusted. The 996 featured front light design that looked like the car was crying. Porsche has wiped away the tears and restored the traditional oval look.
Overall it's a tour de force, a car that charms both the onlooker and the driver in one fell swoop. Yet don't be fooled into thinking this simply means changing the headlights and off to market you go. The roof is the only body panel to carry forward from the 996 and more than 80 per cent of the mechanics are new. In fact the only major part to carry forward is the 3.6-litre unit in the Carrera.
Those famous Marilyn Monroe hourglass looks have been slightly widened by 38mm to accommodate the 19-inch alloys and bigger brakes. The new 911 comes with huge brake callipers that seem to grab you from behind and glue you to the spot. Ceramic brakes are also available - at a price - but they're really only worthwhile for track work.
Behind the wheel, Porsche has got the feel-good factor to a fine art. Hurtling down the autobahn or weaving through the flat open chicanes of the German countryside the fun is electric.
For the first time since 1977, the Porsche 911 Carrera now comes in two power versions: the 3.6-litre 325bhp engine in the Carrera and a 355bhp 3.8-litre flat-six in the Carrera S. This latter flat-six unit develops 400Nm of torque at 4,600 rpm, reach 62 mph from standing start in 4.8 seconds and manages a top speed of 182 mph.
Both versions cruise at 80 mph, coast at 100 mph and settle down to work around 140 mph. Yet in town it's a pussycat, ticking by with the solid presence and docile nature of a family hatchback - albeit with the ability to devour an entire line of traffic at the first sign of an opening.
The chassis set-up somehow overcomes the laws of physics and for once there's no real need for the four-wheel-drive of the Carrera 4S, that adds another 60 kg to the car.
Part of the improvement can be attributed to new adaptive dampers (standard on the S but an option on the Carrera). With two settings, the sports mode noticeably stiffens the dampers and activates Porsche's stability control system earlier. The claim is that you get sharper handling and improved ride quality. In fairness the 911 has never been a slouch in the handling department and unless you spend your spare time at Mondello, Irish Carrera owners won't miss it.
The car has its flaws. The delicious gurgle from the engine is not quite of the same note as the early air-cooled versions. It does have a wonderful note, but you should really reside around 5,000rpm to appreciate it.
Also, the Tiptronic gearbox seems slow to change and often out of step with where you want to be on the rev counter. Sure, it's faster than most others, but the manual six-speed is more meaty and full of fun. Don't worry about the clutch either. It's as easy to use as your average sports coupé.
The interior of the 911 has also been improved, and the dials are easier to read, though the speedometer is still a waste of time and you always refer to the digital reading in the rev counter. There are also too many buttons on the central console, though it's a vast improvement on earlier models.
Other internal changes include a fully adjustable steering wheel, pedals that have been brought slightly forward and more comfortable seating. The driver seat in particular seems to cosset you. Rear seats as always are only for storage in a 911 and nothing changes here, though the boot up front is quite spacious in a boxy sort of way.
Then there's the optional stopwatch, nicely mounted on the dash. The reason given: to calculate your laptimes. According to Porsche, a large number of its owners take part in track days on the Continent and in the US. However, you just know that its main use will be for timing the run home from the office. Be warned; it's unlikely to cut muster when you're up before the judge for doing 175mph down the back lane to your house, that if it weren't for the Garda roadblock you would have set a new personal best time.
But the 911 is about more than looks, stitched leather and chronometry. It's about driving, and here in the company of the great and good, the aficionados from specialist Porsche magazines, and even legendary test driver Walter Röhrl, I was beginning to feel like a Bulgarian striker in Portugal - delighted to be there but not confident about my contribute.
Then I had the inculcation. I finally became a fully-fledged motoring hack. It's not about knowing the tyre tread depth in a De Tomaso, nor the compression ratio of the Caterham Roadsport.
No, it about something far more mentally active and nerve-tinglingly exciting. The entry exam to this particular club is to thread a 911 through winding forested hills in the midst of a complete downpour without gift-wrapping the car around one of the beckoning trees that line the road.
It is, apparently, all in the ass, as any dancer will tell you. Being blessed with three left feet, it was something akin to attempting the tango in Buenos Aires after a ten-minute visit to Leitrim's Ballroom of Romance.
My partner was the stunningly beautiful, but famously fiery, 911 - a lady not afraid to kick you up the aforementioned derriere if you get out of step.
The heavens provided the accompanying music. It was less a torrential shower than a constant waterfall. At times I wished some of that awesome engine power could be redirected to the wipers.
Every right-angled corner came complete with its own lake, located just where you hoped the engine's 355 horses would dig in and catapult you round.
Thankfully for both Porsche and myself, my less than fancy footwork sufficed to get us round and keep a smile on my face. It did wiggle its tail at times, but with none of the sudden trouser-wetting immediacy we've experienced with Ferraris. It's a gradual slide, with plenty of warning that it's coming off its heels and may trip over, pulling you to the floor.
So I made it round, I've danced the light fantastic and will now proceed to join the long line of bores that spend entire weekends waffling on about cornering in a 911. "It's all about the feeling you know."
The 911 is back. Stand aside BMW. Arrivederci Maserati. The legend is reborn.