BIKETEST: GENERIC SOHO 125The Soho 125 won't win on speed, but the catalogue makes it all worth it, writes GEOFF HILL.
AS I HURTLED down the home straight of the Ulster Grand Prix circuit at full throttle, I glanced down at the speedometer to confirm my suspicions that I had just set a new record.
Yes, the evidence was there: with the needle sitting firmly on 56mph as I swept across the finish line, I had recorded the slowest time in the circuit’s 87-year history of the circuit.
In the grandstand, the crowd rose to their feet as one and took off into the western sky.
They were, after all, crows. And I was, after all, on the Generic Soho 125, the Austrian-made scooter on which breathtaking acceleration is not an option, and the top speed will never have you being pursued down the motorway by the boys in blue.
As I say, the fastest I got to was 56mph, and uphill, even with the throttle fully open, that slowed to a steady 45mph.
But then, since it only cost me £4.50 for a full tank of fuel, which would probably take me to Timbuktu and back, who cares about performance?
Once I got used to the fact that I wasn’t, after all, going to beat the Ducati Monster beside me away from the lights, and discovered how to get my knees out of the way of the bars when cornering, the Soho was a fine little machine, perfect for pottering around town or commuting.
It’s narrow enough that you can filter through traffic and make your way easily to the front of the traffic light queue, although to be honest there’s not much point, since the bloke in the Nissan Micra at the head of the queue will overtake you in a few seconds with a smug smile and cheery wave. After all, this was the only machine I’d ever ridden with a lower horsepower than my Royal Enfield.
As for your own overtaking, when you’re out on the open road, it will take months of planning, to the extent that I have just written to Generic suggesting that it supplies each model with an overtaking diary in which, after filling your pipe with Old Throgmorton’s Ready-Rubbed, lighting it and unscrewing a venerable fountain pen, you can make entries in fine copperplate saying: “Monday, commenced overtaking. Wednesday, completed manoeuvre.”
Talking of manoeuvrability, the fact that the machine weighs in at a piffling 122kg means that, once you get it up to speed, you can fling it about a bit, and those 16” wheels make heeling it through corners like a big bike entirely possible, not to mention fun. It does dance around a bit and tramline on uneven road surfaces, but the lightness means that’s not a problem.
However, as entertaining as the Soho is, it will never give you as much enjoyment as its description in the catalogue (and I quote): “Your scooter is meant to suit you like your favourite pair of jeans or the latte macchiato you enjoy on Saturday noons with your friends. The Soho is your reliable mate accompanying you to all of your destinations no matter if it’s your office in the city or the quiet cottage you roam to on the weekends in the summertime.”
Even better is the description of the Roc, the Soho’s 50cc little brother: “Cheeky, stylish and of exorbitantly ambitioned design. Agile and quickly the Roc follows your paths. Your advantage in life – more modern product at good value.”
All of which makes me suspect that, Austrian as Generic is, the company farmed its marketing out to one of the new generation of Japanese computers into which you feed random words then watch it produce authentic 21st-century gibberish.
Possibly the same computer that designed the label on a vacuum flask I saw in Tokyo once, which said: “Fall in love with Twinkle Heart and she become charming, happiness for a while.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the kitchen and find a damp cloth, since I seem to have spilt some latte macchiato on my favourite jeans. Serves me right for being a smartass.
Factfile
Engine:125cc liquid-cooled four stroke; 7.5kW (10bhp) @ 8500rpm, 7.5Nm @ 7500rpm
Ignition:CDI, electric start
Transmission:automatic CVT
Brakes and wheels:hydraulic disc brakes front and rear, 16" wheels
Dimensions:length 1,985mm, width 780mm, height 1,140mm, seat height 805mm, wheelbase 1,330mm
Dry weight:122kg
Storage:underseat, sufficient for a full face helmet
Colours:black, silver
Price:£1,999 (around €2,200) from all-Ireland dealer RR Motorcycles, Lisburn, Northern Ireland, tel: 028-92 666 033 or see rrmotorcyclesni.com (small-wheeled version £1,499)