I live in a three-bed semi-detached house. Why do I tell you this? Because I bet that, on the basis of statistical likelihood, you do too. Many of us do and there is good reason for that. Three-bed semis are simple to build (relatively), affordable to buy and generally cheap to run and maintain. They are the vanilla, the magnolia, the straight-out denim jeans of houses – predictable and dull perhaps, but also simple, straightforward and with practicality and ease of use high on the agenda.
Which brings me to the Nissan Pulsar. Now, there has been a great deal of comment knocking around that the Pulsar represents a retrograde step for Nissan, a return to the dark, dull and dishwatery days of the Almera. Those were the days when Nissan produced little else but dull, worthy and forgettable cars, so much so that when the Almera came to the end of its life, everything changed.
Nissan's hard-charging, take-no-prisoners boss Carlos Ghosn said that ordinary was simply something that Nissan wouldn't do any more, and proved his point by creating the Qashqai to replace the Almera. Not only did the Qashqai break the class boundaries down, it went on to staggering sales success and a second generation that has been equally as commercially and critically successful.
So why create the Pulsar at all? If you have factories around the world putting on extra shifts to keep up with demand for the Qashqai, why do you need a Pulsar?
Simply because for all the Qashqai's success, the C-segment, the Golf-and-or-Focus segment is still the biggest of all in Europe and the biggest of all in Ireland, and if you're not playing in it you're missing out on significant sales even if you're not the number one seller. Hence the Pulsar.
But is it a retrograde step, a return to the dullness of the Almera?
Striking
No, not really. It’s not as interesting to drive or look at as a Qashqai and I guess in that sense it is a step back. The Pulsar is neither ugly nor striking and while it does have obvious visual family ties to the Qashqai and X-Trail (and, tangentially, the Leaf) it’s more amorphous, less muscular and less memorable.
Inside, it owes a great deal to the Qashqai, sharing much of the instrument panel, switchgear and touchscreen infotainment system. Nothing wrong with that – it all works very well and there’s a similar level of comfort for the front-seat passengers, even if they are sitting a bit lower. There is a lot of plain grey-ish, black-ish plastic on display, but by the standard of the class it’s not bad – it’s not as nice as what you get in a Golf, but it’s better than what you get in an Auris.
In the rear lies the Pulsar’s trump card – space. Lower slung than the Qashqai it may be but there is proper stretch-out legroom in the back.
Nissan claims that it’s as good as you get in larger cars such as the Mondeo and Passat and I’m prepared to believe it. If space is truly the ultimate luxury, then the Pulsar is close to being an S-Class for the masses. Sort of.
Power comes from the familiar 1.5-litre diesel four-cylinder that we’ve come to know and love from various other Nissans and Renaults. It has a reasonable 110hp but a somewhat under-fed 190Nm of torque. That makes for rather sedate progress – it’s not annoyingly slow, but neither is it engagingly brisk.
Then again, a look at the spec sheet and the 94g/km CO2 rating shows you where the engine’s priorities lie – firmly in the fuel-saving camp. This it certainly does, perhaps not to the tune of the claimed 70-odd mpg of that same spec sheet, but 60mpg is doable, 55mpg easy peasy.
It’s easy to drive too. The steering is actually surprisingly well-weighted but while it feels pleasant, all the Pulsar really does is understeer. After the initial running wide, it does bite a little more firmly and turns into the corner of choice, but it’s never enthusiastic or exciting. At least the ride quality is good – firmly damped but not excessively harsh.
Again, it’s less obviously talented or poised than the Qashqai and that’s a shame – we know Nissan can do better and be more entertaining than this but the decision has been taken to somewhat dumb the Pulsar down.
Middle ground
Does that make it more broadly appealing? I’m not so sure. Look at the persistent success of the sharp-as-a-tack
Ford
Focus. Once again though, in dynamic terms, the Pulsar finds itself in a middle ground. Less obviously talented than a Golf or Focus, rather more so than an Auris.
It is very safe though, gaining a full five stars on the ever-tougher EuroNCAP crash test, and with that massive cabin and excellent economy you can see how the Pulsar would offer painless appeal to a broad swathe of car buyers, especially those with growing families.
It’s also conspicuously good value, with our test SV model clocking in at €23,000 with plenty of standard equipment.
Is it exciting, dynamic, memorable? No, it's not. Is it a step back? No, it's not. Remember the dreadfully dull Tiida, that sold for a while as an option for those for whom a Qashqai was just too daring? Compared to the Tiida, the Pulsar is a veritable Ferrari, so a backward step it is not.
There's plenty of drama happening in the average three-bed semi, after all . . . Nissan Pulsar: The Lowdown
Pricing: €22,995 as tested. (Pulsar prices start at €19,995)
Power: 110hp Torque: 190Nm 0-100kmh 11.5secs Top speed: 190kmh
Claimed economy: 3.6-litres per 100km (78mpg) CO2 emissions: 94g/km Motor tax: €180
