I am shattered. The Gumball has been bizarre. I got a wake-up call in my five-star hotel in Bucharest at 8pm on Monday night. I was thinking to myself: "This isn't right, I'm wrecked after 25 hours in a car and now I'm going out to a party, knowing I have to be up at 6am to drive to Belgrade. Why am I doing this to myself?"
It started as it meant to go on - in a rush. We missed the ferry from Dublin on Saturday by minutes, arriving late for the London opening shindig for the 250 Gumballers and assorted hangers-on.
The 120 cars left a crowd of tens of thousands behind on Pall Mall on Sunday afternoon. Rumours we were to be waved off by the Queen proved to be an elaborate Gumball hoax.
We eventually rolled up on Sunday night at a Belgian château. It was like a fairytale, light from the candles lining the lake reflected in the paintwork of millions of euro worth of supercars. Magical.
I'd hoped for a rest, but it wasn't to be. We soon split for our next checkpoint in Vienna, ending up having chats with quite a lot of local constabularies on the way. The Belgian police decided to stop everyone, at least once, for all sorts of spurious reasons. All the locals came out to take photos. I haven't heard of any major crashes. To be honest, it hasn't turned out to be the mad dash I'd expected. Safety is taken very seriously.
If the Gumball were just a no-holds-barred race, it wouldn't exist. We did, however, attract lots of boy racers trying to lay down the gauntlet to us.
Navigation was a pain. All cars had GPS trackers with the routes loaded into them. They were a bit erratic. Ours had a nasty habit of informing us of a left turn 500 metres ahead 10 metres after we had actually missed it. We consequently saw quite a lot of bits of Europe that we weren't supposed to see at all. Like Luxembourg.
Our car, a BMW 630i, was a dream. Although I'd initially been jealous of the Ferraris and Zondas, I soon realised that sitting in a cramped cockpit with seats that seem almost an afterthought would have me in tatters within hours.
The European leg ended in Belgrade, leaving those with deep pockets to go on to Thailand and the US. This is where we put our hands up, admit we're not loaded and say goodbye.
We have to be back in Dublin by Friday to fly to Vegas for a gig with Snoop Dogg. Most people were very positive about me doing the Gumball as a wheelchair user.
Lots of others didn't make an issue about it at all, which was exactly what I wanted. Anyway, once the key goes in the ignition, we're all in wheelchairs, aren't we?
Bolger is doing the Gumball to raise funds for Spinal Injuries Ireland. Go to spokeout.com for details. In conversation with Kilian Doyle