Are you socially inept? Do you find it difficult to strike up conversations and make friends? Is your love-life stuck in neutral? Then we might have the solution.
Simply write a cheque for €1,000 and make it payable to Nissan Ireland. Tell them you want to be the first person in Ireland to have an "Infiniti FX35" and make sure they write that down.
Then get back to work as soon as you can. Rather than sit by yourself in the canteen, bring a sandwich to work and stay at your desk.
Work weekends and Christmas and right through your holidays - nobody's going to invite you anywhere anyway. Then, in three years' time, when the first Irish Infiniti is delivered, take a month's holiday and watch your life change.
Even in America, where Porsches litter the streets and BMW M3s are used as door-stops, people constantly stopped me to ask me about the Infiniti. Just imagine the impact you'll make outside your local video shop.
Suddenly, complete strangers will be striking up conversations with you wanting to know more, so you'll need to have your facts straight if you want to impress.
Tell them that the FX is actually based on the same chassis as the Nissan 350Z, and that if you look closely at its wild shape you can actually see the same long bonnet and swept back windscreen frame as the sporty Z.
Explain that it borrows the same multi-link front and rear suspension, but uses a full-time 4WD system that was originally developed for the US-spec G35 saloon and Japanese Skyline GT-R so it doesn't have a low-range transfer case.
It's also only available with a five-speed automatic and although it does have manual override, it's sluggish to respond to prods of the awkwardly placed lever, so it's best left in "D".
That'll be enough for most people, who will now be inviting you somewhere for a pint.
But if they still insist on knowing more, tell them this: the FX is available with two engines, the 3.5-litre V6 from the 350Z, which is badged FX35, and a 4.5 litre V8 called the FX45.
Wisely, you opted for the 3.5-litre model because having sampled the 4.5-litre you realised the V8 was hardly worth the extra expense for just 35 bhp more (315 bhp vs. 280 bhp) and while the V8 has usefully more torque, the V6's revvy nature makes it more engaging to drive. The FX35 also weighs less and has less of a thirst, while also running on smaller wheels than the V8, which helps the ride and handling no end.
The FX 45 rides on massive 20" wheels which might look fantastic, but they actually destroy the ride and makes the car prone to aquaplaning. The FX35's 18" wheels have higher-profile tyres which help isolate occupants from road imperfections and reduce the V8's considerable tyre roar.
The FX45 also rolls quite a bit in corners, despite the unforgiving suspension, and the steering, while sharp and well-weighted, is prone to kickback from those big wheels and tyres. On the whole, the FX isn't as sporty to drive as perhaps it should be, which is why you opted to trade some of the FX45's sharpness for the added refinement (and an €8,000 lower price) of the FX35.
Chances are, most of the people you meet won't care too much about all that.
Those not intoxicated with the FX's bold, brash exterior will be too busy soaking up the sumptuous interior. Our "liquid copper"-coloured test car had a matching leather interior which not only looked great, but was top-quality, too. The seats were comfortable, the driving position was excellent and there was just enough space in the back for two adults to travel without cramping up.
It wants for nothing in terms of equipment either, coming complete with Xenon lights, stability control, climate control, six airbags and cruise control, although Satellite Navigation and a rear parcel tray were odd omissions.
Within a fortnight of taking delivery of your Infiniti you will be a local celebrity, but your new-found popularity comes at a price. In America, fuel consumption figures in the mid-teens is fine when petrol costs just €0.45 a litre, but it's a different matter in good old Ireland where there's almost €1,200 in road tax and exorbitant insurance to contend with, too.
And that's before you even begin to tackle the price. It's worth the equivalent of €28,200 in the US, so you can more or less double that in Ireland.
If you're lucky, it won't take too long until you meet a sensible man/woman who'll tell you to get rid of the Infiniti and buy something more practical.
But even if you don't, our suggestion won't be a complete disaster.
At least you'll be getting regular, passionate phone calls from your bank manager.