US muscle that deserves ridicule

The new Corvette may corner, but plenty of other US models warrant criticism, argues Conor Twomey.

The new Corvette may corner, but plenty of other US models warrant criticism, argues Conor Twomey.

2003 Chrysler Crossfire

The Crossfire (pictured below) was built upon the old-model Mercedes SLK platform but didn't feature its folding hardtop or appealing good looks. Instead it got a dumpy shape and carryover mechanics, none of which were ever designed for a sporty car. Chrysler then added an even uglier coupé version and a supercharged 3.2-litre SRT-6 version which was faster but no more fun. Overpricing prevented it from finding a loyal fanbase even in dog-friendly America.

2005 Chevrolet Corvette

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GM proudly proclaims the Corvette to be an "American's Sports Car" and it's also the best selling sportscar nameplate of all time, ahead of even the mighty Porsche 911. But until the new model was launched this year it really was a pitiful thing. It was fast, but it was also a thirsty, badly-made, plastic-bodied anachronism that smelled of glue and had a gearbox from a tank.

2005 Ford Mustang

The first all-new Mustang (pictured across) in two decades should have catapulted the pony car into the 21st century but instead it stayed rooted firmly in the 1960s. The retro styling is appealing but, as with the Beetle, Mini and Fiat 500, you have to ask: where do the designers go from here? More alarmingly, the chassis was set up for comfort, even on the 300hp V8 version, while the rear suspension featured a cheap live rear axle which ruined the ride and made the Mustang more tail-happy than a litter of puppies.

2005 Scion tC

Built upon the European Avensis platform the Scion tC is Toyota America's replacement for the Toyota Celica. Toyota invented the Scion brand with the American youth customer in mind and promotes it only in places where young people are likely to see it. The tC is the sporty Scion, meant to be the brand's flagship. Except it isn't. It's slow, coarse and dull to drive - real triumph of style over substance. It's a huge success in the US but will never be offered to European buyers.

2006 Pontiac Solstice

Pontiac (pictured below) wanted the world to see its new Solstice as America's answer to the Mazda MX-5. The formula was the same - front engine, rear wheel drive, two seats and a convertible soft-top - but the execution was truly abysmal. It wasn't a bad looker but the engines were coarse and slow, the chassis was soft and spongy which means it was as much fun to drive as a clapped out delivery van. The folding roof was pointlessly complicated and devoured interior and boot space. It's sold in Europe as the Opel GT but, wisely, they didn't even bother with RHD.