Incredibly spreadable: We've all had that secret invention that's going to make our fortune. I've been tinkering for some time with the idea of a miniature fridge that keeps butter at exactly the right temperature for spreading.
Somewhere between the blade-blunting hardness that butter assumes when it's kept in a proper fridge, and the too-soft, slightly stinky consistency it takes on when left on the kitchen table in high summer.
Such a device could not only make my fortune but would be a gift to the world. Many of those marriages that are wrecked by little differences - the cap on or off the toothpaste, the toilet seat up or down, the butter in or out of the fridge - would now be saved. And when butter's soft, we use less of it, so there's a health benefit too. "The Goodman Mini-Fridge: Making Obesity History."
So when I opened a British newspaper recently and read about a temperature- controlled butter dish, named the Butterwizard, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Had the man I explained my scheme to in the pub run home and knocked one up himself? Had I accidentally ordered it from the cosmos, Noel Edmonds-style?
Anyway, I ordered one right away, not from the cosmos but from the manufacturers - one of whom has a background in ice-cream making - to see if they'd got it right. It comes preset for perfect spreadability. The dish has back-up batteries that let you bring the device to the table, while maintaining that perfect temperature. All the bits that get butter on them are washable. And yes, it keeps butter in that incredibly edible state that makes breakfast a joy and lunchtime sambos a delicacy.
But it has its flaws. Such as the fan that emits a low hum at all times. Also, it's a bit chunky - the high-lifestylers in this office say they'd never have one on the table. And finally, every time I plug it in, there's a faint smell of burned electrics, which the makers assure me will fade in time. It hasn't quite yet, but it's less obvious now, and my house hasn't burnt down.
Nice concept, lads, and I'm learning to live with the feng shui problems. It's available in Debenhams, Belfast and from www.butterwizard.co.uk for Northern Irish residents. The Butterwizards are looking for a distributor in the Republic. Conor Goodman
And zen we got a gazebo: The Zen Garden Company's gazebos are all about Asian tranquillity. Imported from Indonesia, made from bengkirai hardwood and sturdy coconut wood, these will not be blowing away in the wind. They could be used as an outdoor yoga room, eating area or just as your personal garden retreat. The thatched roof lasts eight years, and it also comes with a more durable timber shingle slated roof. The wood used comes from renewable sources and is kiln-dried to withstand Irish weather. They cost from €3,500 including delivery, but installation is a variable extra. The gazebos in the first shipment are 2mx2m, but any size can be commissioned. Phone 01-8878614 or 086-2739166 for more information, or to request a brochure. Nicoline Greer
The Kerry beach safari: Zoologist and marine biologist Sarah Varian is embarking on a maritime adventure, taking people on an ecological workshop to one of her favourite places, the Iveragh Peninsula on the Ring of Kerry. The trip will take in the Skelligs for their puffins, kittiwakes and monastic ruins, or Valencia for the oldest footprints ever recorded on earth: the fossils of a prehistoric amphibious creature called a tetrapod. A boat trip on Saturday will take participants on a fishing trip, then on to the rocky shores of the Kenmare River, a special area of conservation, and a coral beach. On Sunday the group will get up close with the rockpools of Derrynane beach. The tour will take place on August 18th-20th and costs €195 for the weekend (individual days can also be booked). In addition, Varian will be organising summer seashore safaris around Dublin and Wicklow. Phone 01-2828876 or see www.marinedimensions.ie for more information and booking. Nicoline Greer
A cutter computer: You'll usually find home computers shoved into a corner or relegated to a box-room at the back of the house. Undoubtedly this is partly because their awkward shape and plastic exterior don't always fit in with the decor of the rest of your home. But if you had a stylish IamEco wood-finish PC, you'd probably be dying to it show off. Their handmade wooden screens, keyboards and mice are available in ash, beech and sapele, and you can even get wooden widescreen televisions. IamEco PCs aren't simply pretty on the outside either - they're also billed as "the world's first eco-friendly computer" and they're made by a small Rathfarnham-based Irish firm, MicroPro. Available from Cultivate, 15-19 Essex St West, Temple Bar, or online at www.iameco.com. Eimear McKeith
One sparkling vineyard: Wine-lovers travelling in the Languedoc-Roussillon region of France should consider dropping in on Château Rives-Blanques at Cépie, just north of Limoux. There, Caryl Panman and her English husband Jan, formerly of Castletownbere, Co Cork, have put together a formidable vineyard which the July issue of La Revue du Vin de France has just named among the 60 best vineyards to visit this summer. The Panmans make a version of the delicious Blanquette de Limoux, which locals claim was the first dry sparkling wine, created over a century before Dom Perignon did the same in Champagne. They also produce a Cuvée de l'Odyssée (AOC Limoux), a fresh, lean Chardonnay with inviting fruit which was a recent Irish Times bottle of the week. Call 00-33-468-314320 or see www.rives-blanques.com. Joe Breen
Chocs, crab and caviar: "Eight Things To Eat Before You Die" is the tantalising title of a gourmet night being held at the First Floor restaurant in Harvey Nichols, Dundrum Town Centre, Dublin 14 next Thursday. Beluga caviar, black truffles, milk-fed veal, king crab, foie gras, Wagyu beef, grand cru chocolate and Tahitian vanilla won't pose an immediate mortality threat, but head chef Thomas Haughton's eight-course menu, created around luxury ingredients sourced by gourmet food suppliers Vanilla Venture, could transport you to another place, temporarily. Tickets are €85, including a glass of champagne, and an introductory talk on each of the eight featured ingredients. Book on 01-2910488. Marie-Claire Digby
Meet the pirates: You've seen the Pirates of the Caribbean II movie - now you can go on the holiday. If you'd like to - quite literally - follow in the footsteps of Captain Jack Sparrow, Headwater tour operator is offering an eight-night walking holiday in Dominica. This small, lush Caribbean island was one of the main locations for the second and third parts of the blockbuster Disney franchise. You'll have a chance to visit some of the sites featured in the film (including "Shipwreck Cove" and "Cannibal Island"), while at night you'll be sleeping in the four-star Fort Young Hotel, where the cast stayed during filming. Departures on selected dates from November 17th to March 31st, 2007; prices from £1,597 per person. For more details call Walter Greacen of Leopardstown Tours on 01-2958901 or see www.headwater.com. If you'd like to organise your own trip to the island, www.piratesdominica.com is a quirky website which introduces you to all things pirate-related on Dominica, including the history of pirates there, places of interest, and, of course, a legend of buried treasure. Eimear McKeith
• Problems maintaining a relationship with your mobile or mp3 player? Buy a tag (€6.99 for two) on www.yougetitback.com and attach it to your valuable. If you lose the item, whoever finds it alerts the Irish-based company by web or phone. They return it to you, and even send a gift to the finder. Rachel Dugan
• The Shannon International Music Festival with the Irish Chamber Orchestra is on July 26th-30th. The five-day festival of music features 12 lunchtime, afternoon, evening and candlelit concerts around Limerick, and includes celebrated national and international guest artists. 1890-923543, www.irishchamberorchestra.com