CYBER SORTER:Social-media agony aunt Amanda Brownon stalking vs friending, and the rules of out-of-office
Dear Cybersorter
If I view the Facebook profile of someone who is not my friend, is there any way they can find out? If I view it regularly, will Facebook notify the person to say I am stalking them? I am not stalking anyone, but I used to look at someone’s profile from time to time because their updates were amusing. Now they have blocked me. Is it possible they know I was looking at their page?
MR
Dear MR
Facebook users cannot find out whether or how many times a person has viewed their profile. There are applications that make similar claims but they are unlikely to yield this information, either.
It is quite possible that you have not been blocked and that the person whose profile you were viewing simply amended their privacy settings to Friends Only.
If you enjoyed their updates, why not attempt to friend them? If you have, and they have ignored your request or actually blocked you, that is all you need to know – you must leave this person alone. Complaining about no longer being able to view their profile is akin to complaining that you can no longer see in the window of the girl next door because she has drawn the curtains.
It is always healthier, online and off, to declare your friendship with someone and accept their response, rather than watch them from afar without their knowledge, no matter how innocently.
Dear Cybersorter
I am agonising over my out-of-office email reply during holidays. I want people to know not to expect a reply, while simultaneously appearing professional.
Is it okay to say (as I have seen), “if your message is important, please send again after Xth July”? Is that rude or confident? I think part of the problem is that in certain jobs you don’t really like to admit you are ever on holidays.
AM
Dear AM
It’s a bit rude, not to mention lazy, to ask people to re-send an email. How much effort does it take to check your emails upon your return? While it is true no one likes to admit they’re on holidays, it’s better for everyone if you set up an email that lets people know when you are away. Something like “I am away until XX. If your query is urgent, please contact so-and-so” will work. Include email and phone numbers, once you have checked it’s okay to bounce urgent messages.
Most servers, including Gmail, Outlook, Yahoo and Hotmail, allow you to create filters. Before you go away, create a filter so that anything of importance carrying a specific word, or from a specific email address, will go into your “important” folder for immediate inspection when you get back.
Don’t be tempted not to switch on such a message and instead to use your mobile device to answer work emails while abroad or taking a break. That road leads to nothing but insanity, heart attack and, quite possibly, divorce – not to mention inconceivably high roaming charges.
Cyber Sorter's summer picks
5 spiritual tweets
@paulocoelho
BioWriter
NoteHe is a messenger of peace to the United Nations.
Typical tweetChanges only happen when we go against everything we're used to doing
@sfreud
BioAustrian psychiatrist
Typical tweetUncovering the resistance is the first step towards overcoming it
@DeepakChopra
Bio234,056 followers
Typical tweetIt's our original nature RT @DSalzarulo: @DeepakChopra Is it possible to be altruistic and act with compassion?
@TheRealLesBrown
BioSpeaker-author-speech coach. Empowering individuals to tap into their greatness.
NoteLes Brown was written off as a child as "mentally retarded". He is now a renowned author, speaker and TV personality.
Typical tweetWhether you think you can or think you can't . . . you're right! What are you "thinking" about yourself?
@Socrates
BioKnower of nothing, orator, imbiber of poisonous beverages
Typical tweetHe is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature. That's why Twitter uses only 140 characters.
5 spiritual apps
Plato, Albert Einstein, Aristotle, Lao Tzu, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Quote Apps Read through the quotes or shake your phone for a random one; all free from iTunes.
Timeless RemindersSick of perky quotes that make you want to smash your smartphone with a sandal? This app is bespoke. You put in your own inspiring photos, music, text and so on and schedule timely reminders to keep you running through the day; free from iTunes.
Sleep Cycle alarm clockSleep Cycle uses an accelerometer to monitor your movement during sleep. It then wakes you at the lightest stage of sleep within a 30-minute time slot that you set. The idea is you wake up feeling refreshed; free from iTunes.
Yoga Breathing TechniquesThis app teaches you different breathing techniques. It promises that the correct breathing can boost your health and concentration; free from iTunes.
Mind and Body connectionA particularly in-depth analysis of your sleep, eat and exercise habits. Advice is then accessible from "The World's Fittest Man" (Guiness Book of World Records), a Yale University diet doctor and weightloss guru Mitzi Perdue; €0.79 from iTunes.
