CYBER SORTER:In the first part of a new series, our social-media agony aunt advises readers on their Facebook and Foursquare dilemmas
Dear Cyber Sorter,
My boss wants to “friend” me on Facebook. This isn’t a person that I want to share my fancy-dress holiday snaps and intimate family shots with, but the professional relationship is too important to reject the request. Now I feel like I can’t be myself on Facebook.
Would it be dreadful to accept the request and then strike them off? I don’t want to have to stop corresponding with my friends.
Professional Person
Dear Professional Person,
You want to plan to come out of this experience sipping a Mojito with the boss rather than lobbing a Molotov cocktail into your office politics. Check your privacy settings as they may still be open, allowing your boss to see your wall posts without friending you. This means you may view his/her profile online, should things disintegrate to the point of needing ammunition, but a few simple steps should prevent that. Accepting and then striking them off might lead to embarrassing recriminations. Instead try:
1) Accepting your boss as a friend then segment your friends list, so that only those you choose can see your wall posts.
2) “Ignore” your boss and then have a pleasant conversation with her about how much you like her . . . but not that much.
3) Set yourself up with professional networking site LinkedIn, which is like a grown-ups-at-work version of Facebook, and invite her to connect with you on that platform.
Dear Cyber Sorter
My husband plays the online game Foursquare, where you compete with others to “check in” online at as many locations and as many times as possible.
I had a long day with our two children last Friday while he was in work. We were all ill; at lunchtime we agreed he would come home on time to take over. The allotted time came and went. I checked my Facebook status and there was an update from him, five minutes previously, checking into the pub!
I am furious. How should I proceed?
Furious in Foxrock
Dear Furious
You are suffering from UR (understandable rage). Your options are three-fold.
1) Send him furious text messages including a graphic recount of how you gave birth to his children, twice.
2) Go offline completely, read Surrendered Wifeand repress all your wishes and needs in favour of his, and implode.
3) Don’t say a word. The idiot is wide open and you can keep tabs on him at all times. This means you can make him suffer without ever having to tell him why. He can remove his Foursquare feeds from his FB updates but if you can figure out his username (try “plonker1972”) you could still track him using Google.
Actually, maybe that last one is a step too far. You don't want to get creepy and end up starring on a YouTube reality show called Married Bunny Boilers' Island.