CYBERSORTER:This week our social media agony aunt looks at disturbing sibling status updates, and the risk of Facebook charitable overload
Dear Cybersorter,
I’m a little disturbed at my siblings’ Facebook updates. My sister’s boyfriend posts messages on her FB page publicly writing “I love you, I love you” and “You’re bleedin deadly” – to which their mutual friends post comments such as “fag” in response. Some of his other comments aren’t printable in such an esteemed publication as this.
It’s not just them. My youngest brother’s updates are often about going to the pub or coming from the pub, there’s only so many times I can “like” his updates before feeling like an enabler.
I seem to have more interaction with them by “likes” and “pokes” than in person these days, but their updates are a bit freaky, what should I do?
– PP
Dear PP,
Compartmentalising your social life on Facebook is as tricky as handling PR for a big married sports personality who has had testosterone shots.
It’s just so much easier to shout “I love you” as you flee the family home after Sunday lunch for the psychological comfort of your own living space, than to read about your brother’s drinking habits or your sister’s sex life and her ardent boyfriend’s homophobic mates.
But – deep breath – we are where we are. Make friends lists and put your siblings on one. Then your senses won’t be assaulted by intimate details about family members every time you log in.
You should block them from your newsfeed, then you won’t upset them by de-friending. You can check in on them every now and then, when you’re feeling strong and/or you’ve drunk enough whiskey to dull the pain.
Dear Cybersorter,
I am getting Facebook charity request fatigue. I used to log in and find out what my friends are up to.
Now if I’m not being urged to update my status with a conscience-raising message then I’m being asked left, right and centre to donate money. Someone is climbing a mountain and wants cash, someone else is running a marathon and another person is growing or shaving dodgy facial hair.
These are my friends and I want to help out, but I’m starting to avoid logging in to my Facebook page like I avoid those manic-looking charity collectors in the sports bibs on O’Connell Street.
– GH
Dear GH,
It’s so much easier to ignore a piece of post sent anonymously through the letterbox than to tell a friend or colleague you won’t cough up. Charities know this. Thus it feels like your Facebook newsfeed is attempting to milk you dry. In these dark days of bills and financial fear, another request for cash can feel overwhelming.
The good news is you know and trust the people asking for the money (or at least you should) so it will go to the good cause stated.
Remember that you might want to put a request or ask a favour of your Facebook friends sometime, but it is perfectly acceptable not to give to everything you are asked and what is given should be donated anonymously.