CYBER SORTER:This week our social media agony aunt dispells some of the myths about Facebook and whether you should friend your siblings' partners
Dear Cybersorter,
I’ve heard that if you join FB you will get an STI, a riot round your house, your children kidnapped and while you’re out looking for them someone on Facebook will burgle your house.
Surely it should be shut down?
– DB
Dear DB,
There are many scary stories out there, particularly about Facebook. When you consider most people hadn’t heard of it five years ago and now about 50 per cent of its five million worldwide users log on in any given day – and it has recently been valued at $37.4 billion (€50 billion) – it’s not surprising that mainstream media along with everyone else are a bit, well, freaked out by it.
Endless salacious headlines, such as "Internet shopping for the burglars" (UK Daily Mail, August 2009) and "I am away from home, PleaseRobMe.com" (The Register.co.uk September 2010) don't ease security fears.
Then there are the urban myths: “My colleague’s cousin got burgled when someone read they were away on holiday on their Facebook page” or “A friend of my son’s girlfriend got bullied on Facebook.”
It has happened in real life, but it’s rare and if you are sensible about what you put online, it’s irrelevant.
If you announce your every move, including holiday absences on your status updates and leave your privacy settings wide open then you make it more likely you could get burgled while you’re out.
Think of Facebook as your personal shotgun. If you aim right it can score you your next meal, if you are ignorant of how it works, how to deal with it and what the basic rules are then you will likely shoot yourself or someone else in the foot or worse.
If you don’t like it, don’t use it. Either way, and even if your computer gets a really nasty virus, you won’t get an STI from using it. Happy hunting.
Dear Cybersorter,
Do I friend my sister’s boyfriend on Facebook or ignore to avoid awkwardness if they ever break up?
– AO
Dear AO,
If he hasn’t yet requested Facebook friendship, leave it for a couple of months. If he has it would be, well, unfriendly, to ignore him.
I recommend obfuscation. Tell him you don’t actually use it much or check it regularly. That way you can wait and see if the relationship looks like it’s long term or terminal.
Of course if you do friend him and they break up it’s probably not going to be as awkward as you think because you won’t be seeing him anymore. Then you can comfortably, even with a touch of glee depending on the breakup circumstances, de-friend him.
No one can really blame a sibling for sticking with blood over water in that situation.
If you do decide to friend him, be warned. You may well be exposed to slushy or even risque lovey dovey exchanges between him and your sister while they enjoy the first flush of their romance.
It would be a shame to end up having to consume anti-nausea tablets before logging in.