I have gathered a collection of shells over the years on holidays with my children. Their unique shapes have always appealed to me; those sensuous forms that once provided life and protection now empty, devoid of life.
I keep these shells in a bowl in the bathroom. Some are eroded beyond recognition, leached of colour, distorted with time yet beautiful, intriguing and mysterious.
These past months I have been caring for my elderly mother Pauline who was coming to the end of her life and my shells remind me of her; the wear and tear on her body, the ravages of time and yet there is a lasting strength and beauty remaining within.
Always strong
Shells are symbolic of femininity with their curves and orifices. Providing shelter and protection they represent nurture and motherhood.
In my latest series of paintings I explore a sense of emptiness when that maternal relationship is relinquished, the letting go when that time of life passes and becomes something else altogether. The paintings depict oversized seashells partially worn away, their secret chambers exposed.
The images are magnified and compelling, inviting contemplation; the sombre greys and blues almost float across the canvas. The gentle brushstrokes echo the faded patina of the distorted forms and the glimpses through to a space beyond hint at emptiness within.
In the same way that these shells have been eroded over time, becoming different entities altogether, sometimes bits of detritus having become lodged within their inner chambers, women and mothers evolve, adopting new roles, adapting to different circumstances always strong, always nurturing.
My beautiful mother died this week. An enduring if absent presence.
Signal Arts Centre in Bray, Co Wicklow is presenting 'Absent Presence' an exhibition of new paintings by Nicky Kruseman until January 29th
