A guide to modern manners. This week: gym etiquette

Between machine hoggers and poor hygiene, the gym can be stressful. First up, there’s locker hogging. You open a big locker to find a dainty hoodie within, and nothing else. It’s peak time, folks, take the hoodie with you or lock it in – at least then we don’t know what’s in the big ones while we try to ram our bags into the tiny cubbies.

Bench space is at a premium during busy hours so don’t set up a camp – trying to put on socks with shaky legs is difficult enough. And no locker room selfies please, it’s very disconcerting when we’re half-dressed.

On the personal grooming front, can you keep it to the basics? Exfoliating in the steam room isn’t cool, nor is nail-clipping or applying fake tan. And please wear flip flops when touring the tiles. We worry about verucas.

The gym floor is one of the few places where you can see a friend of the opposite sex and pretend they don’t exist. Gym face is nobody’s best face. Let’s avoid the awkward small talk.

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Leaving a towel down doesn’t claim the bench, especially while you’re off using everything else in the place. And there’s no need to drop your weights Olympic style (and the grunting that goes along with that needs to stop too).

Finally, don't be a lurker. If you haven't a clue what you're doing, ask one of the pros. "Borrowing" some personal training (Bridesmaids-style) looks like you're randomly following people around and that's a little creepy. Rachel Murphy