The queue for security has taken forever so forgive us for being peeved at the number of cosmetics bottles that you’re only now discovering in your carry-on luggage, and your inability to fit them into not one but two of those plastic bags.
Seriously, can it be that you don’t know that the giant dry shampoo aerosol is going to be confiscated, or that you are going to have to take off that belt and those boots?
And how did you get away with that bulky carry-on bag that next thing we know you are ramming into an overhead bin that is really only designed for a briefcase and a bottle of gin.
Yes, the in-flight snacks are very dear and it is more economical to make your own, but egg sandwiches? That is just not fair on anyone. Same goes for removing the kind of shoes that normally need to be aired on a window sill.
Personal space is limited – and by limited, we mean non-existent, so you can have one, but not both armrests.
Ok, you want to get the holiday party started, but there’s no need to shout at your friends three rows back, or to keep bobbing up and down like a yoyo because you’re not sitting beside your friends.
The vertical drop landing was pretty horrific, but must we listen to you bellow down the phone about it while we wait to disembark?
If you must rant, please do so via text. You will have plenty of time for that at the baggage carousel, where we’d be grateful if you would not push that case off the conveyor belt and onto our toes while you access your own monstrous luggage.
Rachel Murphy