Neil Sedaka once sang, “Breaking up is hard to do,” and whether it’s that first two-week romance of hand-holding in McDonald’s or the utter obliteration of your relationship with “the one” the common courtesies remain the same.
Let’s begin with the break-uper. First off, man or woman up. Behaving like a heel so your other half has to do the dirty work is a no no. No texts or phone calls or changing your status on Facebook, be decent about it. Similarly, no paltry excuses: “It’s not you it’s me” was trite before it was even a thing.
You’ve made your bed, so lie in it. No social media stalking or “checking in,” just because you have no one to shower you with affection anymore. You probably weren’t friends before, so don’t pull out that epic one-liner either.
Break-upees, you get a certain grace period for inconsolable grieving. Let’s put a metric on it: how about 10 per cent of a relationship? After that, circling conversation back around to the hows and what ifs of your relationship’s demise gets a little wearing.
Try to hold your head high and move on. If nothing else, fake it. Nothing is more disconcerting and appealing than someone who behaves with grace. For both parties, be careful about how much you condemn your ex to friends and family (particularly your mother). These things can be hard to forget when you get back together three days later. Rachel Murphy