Leviathan political cabaretIt only just scrapes into the cheap(ish) category at €15 a go, but David McWilliams' regular Dublin chat-off does offer the opportunity to cast yourself as a hip young citizen with your finger on the pulse – no, in the very ventricle! – of current political debate. With its "live blogging", however, be aware that posting web updates on the progress of your date can lead to a loss of that special cosiness.
Internet datingWe're talking dating 2.0 here. Pros: not only free but offers the opportunity to construct a fictional "avatar" more attractive and successful than yourself. Cons: no physical contact, possible overuse of emoticons :(, constant risk of distraction by breaking news and/or humorous pictures of cats. Weigh it up.
Classical concertEvery Friday night, €10 tickets are available for the RTÉ Symphony Orchestra at the National Concert Hall. Ignore the derisive stares from those in the expensive seats.
Pool/snookerIndulge your Paul Newman fantasies at a pool club. But not to the extent where you emerge a beaten, broken man, your spirit crushed by defeat.
The ZooActually, at €15 for an adult at Dublin Zoo, not that cheap. But still, somewhere a little different. Don't let the monkeys give you any ideas. You might like to take advantage of weak sterling to visit Belfast Zoo, where admission costs £6.70.
Poetry readingThe White House Poetry Revival Group hosts a poetry night every Wednesday at the White House, O'Connell Street, Limerick, with guest readers and an open mic session. If you're reading anything yourself, be aware that it's considered pushy to dedicate poetry on a first date. Open-mic poetry readings are organised by clubs around the country. Avoid if you have a tendency to snigger.
Board gamesNot the kind where you pretend to be a warlock. If over-competitiveness does not render you unattractive, you could go along to a boardgames night – or start your own on meetup.com.
Swing dancingA somewhat more modish variation on the céilí theme. Galway Swing runs drop-in classes every Monday and Tuesday night in the city – €10 a head – plus occasional bigger events. Malcolm X was a dedicated lindyhopper before he became an incendiary civil rights leader, so this could lead anywhere.
Other musicclubs Small club nights can be a good way to see live music, without signing your mortgage over to Ticketmaster. The Lee Delta Blues Club stages concerts every Thursday at the Corner House, Coburg Street, Cork. At De Barra's pub in Clonakilty, the Folk Club runs a weekly Sitting Room Session, to which entry is a mere fiver.
Drum workshopDo: get in touch with your inner crusty by hammering away at a piece of animal skin in the company of like-minded enthusiasts. Do not: inquire whether the drumming is awakening your partner's "inner rhythms". Workshops every Friday at the Temperance Hall, Kinsale, Co Cork. More from www.djembefola.com.