Orna Mulcahy on people we all know
Kathy is in a quandary ... they've all been invited to a friend's villa in Italy this summer, and she has said yes, love to, but now it turns out the fares alone will cost about €3,000 and that's before they have to take the hosts out to dinner five nights out of seven, and spend lots on overpriced prosciutto for those al fresco lunches. On the plus side, she has heard there's great value to be had in the Prada warehouse outlet nearby, so at least that will be a saving of sorts.
Kevin says they just can't afford the trip, and anyway weren't they going to spend all of July in the cottage in Rosslare that they bought last year - 2030 should see it paid for. Kathy is fed up with the Rosslare mortgage, and fed up with Rosslare, which is not shaping up to be the Hamptons-style bright and breezy, blue and white striped beach house she wanted at all, but a rather damp bungalow with mildew on the curtains and mouse droppings everywhere. Seriously, she tells Kevin, we're going to have to build a deck around it or something to make it look a bit smarter.
The Rosslare mortgage is teeny compared to the jumbo-sized one they have on their Blackrock house, bought at the peak of the market in rag order and needing acres of new carpet and a total kitchen refit. Then there's the loan on the apartment, which is supposed to be for the children, but meanwhile is unlet and giving Kevin an ulcer.
So, with all that, they are stoney broke, before they even think about living expenses. Don't get her started on school fees, but forget the fees, she has to find money for next year's uniforms and how is it that rich people always manage to find pristine second-hand uniforms while she is going to have to do the whole day out in Arnotts and hang the expense. It can't be helped, Alex is a bit sensitive just now and needs a brand new uniform what with going to big school.
We're nothing but wage slaves, she says to Kevin as they compare pay slips ... is it possible that between them they bank €15,000 a month but have virtually no spending money? I mean, Gretta has more money saved than I do, she moans to an equally strapped friend - Gretta being the Filipina help, who has managed to buy three houses on her native island with the proceeds of her admittedly back-breaking job in Blackrock.
I know, I know, says the friend soothingly, before detailing her own horrendous expenditure. She has just had to replace not one but all the tyres on her Range Rover and pay, listen to this, €1,000 for a new set of taps for the understairs loo! Seriously, doesn't everything in the house cost €1,000 these days? Still, way in the distance, there is hope, what with auntie's acres outside Drogheda possibly about to get re-zoned. Must pop down and see her on Sunday.