Original thinking - and some online shopping - can cut thousands from the cost of organising a wedding. Claire O'Connellon big days that don't come with a big debt
When I see pictures from Jordan and Peter Andre's wedding, complete with pink Barbie dress and Cinderella carriage, I'm reminded of Dolly Parton's quip about how it takes a lot of money to look this cheap. And while Liz Hurley's recent nuptials were slightly less vulgar, her week-long A-list celebrations spanned two continents and stamped an ungainly carbon footprint across an eco-sensitive world.
But smart weddings don't have to cost the earth, according to Sarah Traynor, author of How to Have a Champagne Wedding on a Buck's Fizz Budget. She reckons that with internet access and a little creative thinking, couples in Ireland can easily cut 10 to 20 per cent off the average wedding budget of around €25,000.
When Traynor was planning her own wedding in 2004, she was taken aback at how the industry pushes couples to spend. "I went to a wedding fair and I was so annoyed. They were like sharks, tripping over each other with leaflets and make-up and saying to you with a straight face that it would cost you €500 to go a mile up the road in a nice car," she recalls.
Instead of buying into the hype, Traynor stepped back and shopped around on the internet for better value. Her big bargain was a Mon Cheri wedding dress, which she first spotted swinging a price tag of €1,600 in a Dublin store. She went online and, a few e-mails later, bought the same design from the US for around €500.
"I had it sent to work, and I was so excited I locked myself into an empty meeting room and put it on. All the girls came in then and were admiring it," says Traynor.
The high street can also be a bargain-hunting ground for good value in cakes, bridal party dresses and accessories, adds Traynor. She suggests checking out styles in specialist shops, then taking a wander through department stores, more and more of which have recently started to run wedding lines. "You could easily save more than €1,000 just on your dress," she says. "For a long time the high street made little effort, but now they realise it's such a big industry."
The trick is to prioritise spending to suit your own wedding. For example, if you know your guests will want a well-lubricated reception from early on, spend a little more on the drinks budget and rent a less swanky wedding car, she suggests. Or if you think your guests would prefer a cup of tea rather than alcohol before the meal, redirect the savings somewhere else.
But there are times when skimping is not wise. Photographs and flowers should be professionally done to avoid potential disasters, and the choice of venue is a key decision, warns Traynor.
"It can be a false economy to get a cheap venue, unless you are really creative and you know what you are doing. If you go with a good hotel, it's not always about the price per head; it has also to do with the level of professionalism and what they can do for you on the day," she says, recounting how staff at the hotel she chose were able to avert a cake-decorating crisis the night before her wedding.
Food is another critical area to get right, but smart couples can save by sourcing local caterers and seasonal, local fare. This also has the advantage of minimising the environmental impact; a consideration that Traynor feels is growing in Ireland. "I didn't set out to write the book with an angle on eco-weddings, but it evolved because it's a great way of saving money," she says, describing how couples can keep numbers small, borrow props from friends, e-mail their invitations, and honeymoon in Ireland or the UK rather than racketing up carbon-emitting airmiles.
Stepping off the spend-thirsty wedding treadmill to focus on what's important to you and your guests can make for a more memorable day, she adds. "If you put a lot of thought into it, the way you cut back can individualise your wedding. It won't look cheap, it will just look different, and people will remember the personal touches."
Celebrity weddings are blowing expectations out of proportion, according to Dominique Schefman, who plans weddings at Ballybeg House. "A lot of people see these celebrity weddings and they want to get married as if they, too, were movie stars - it's off the wall," says the Wicklow-based Dutch woman, who is an interior designer as well as planning weddings.
"Of course you want your day to be special, but the couple are stars anyway because they are in love and it's a very beautiful thing to celebrate. And why would they spend so much money on a day that only lasts a few hours when you can have a really nice wedding with a nice meal for €15,000?"
These are 's top three tips on bringing costs down while keeping the day special:
• Spread the meal outPlacate rumbling stomachs by offering canapés as the starter before the sit-down main course, and look on the wedding cake as a dessert.
• Keep the decorations simple"Chair covers, or an extra ribbon doesn't make your party better, and you don't need bombastic flower arrangements - one flower can often say more than many."
• Get a good bandThis is something people will remember. "You don't have to go for a wedding band. Get a salsa band or have a céilí, music that everyone can dance to."
See also www.domschefman.com
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THE INTERNET BRIDE
When Fiona McPhillips got married two years ago, she took the term "internet bride" to heart. "Everything we could, we bought online," she says. "I tried my dress on in Dublin then I bought it for about a third of the price on the internet."
In addition, she and groom-to-be John Braine bartered their skills as web designers for services in return. "John came up with the idea of just asking people if they would swap something we needed for a website, and given that most wedding suppliers are small traders, it worked out," McPhillips says. By providing websites, the couple covered their wedding car, hairdressing, jewellery, cakemaking and photography.
The couple, who are also musicians, rented Ballybeg House in Wicklow for the weekend and asked musically-inclined friends to bring instruments to provide the entertainment. "The best thing about renting a place is that the lights don't come on at 1am and everyone goes home. You can keep going all night, do what you want. We had a whole weekend of it," says McPhillips. And the emphasis was on being laid-back, she adds. "It didn't run in the traditional, expected fashion; we didn't have speeches or a sit-down meal. People just hung out and had drinks and a while later we had some music and food," she says. "That was the main attraction for me. We wanted a big party and for everyone to have fun, and two years later people still rave about it."
THE SURPRISE
When Janette Mooney from Meath got married she had just one regret on the day: that they hadn't involved more people in the celebration. She and husband Colm didn't want the expense of a traditional reception because they were doing up their house. Instead they married in a registry office and then went for a meal with family.
The next day, Janette put on the dress again because she thought they were heading out to have photos taken. Little did she know that Colm and his siblings had been busy working behind the scenes, pooling their skills to organise a marquee, bar, catering and musicians, and setting up a "do" for 150 people. "It was a complete surprise, I nearly died of shock," Janette recalls. "But it was fantastic to have everyone there."
Keeping the secret was hard work for Colm in the run-up to the wedding, but the result was worth it. "We all chipped in and got it together and surprised her. It was something different," he says. "We kept it informal and everyone enjoyed themselves. The party lasted for two days."
THE TUSCAN FAIRYTALE
Getting married at a villa under the Tuscan sun is an idyllic way to seal a romance. And it's the perfect wedding setting for Damian McCabe from Donegal and Rachel Hegarty from Cork. When the couple met a year ago, they wasted no time: within seven months they got engaged and started to plan their wedding abroad - which takes place next month.
"The place chose itself really, because we wanted a more relaxed wedding," Hegarty says. "And we wanted to get a few days away with our family and friends, which normally wouldn't happen at a wedding."
The couple went online and found an ideal Italian villa complete with church, farmyard and swimming pool. They visited the location recently and were bowled over by the hospitality of the local community.
And while having 90 guests over for the wedding will lead to mounting costs, they feel they are getting good value for money in Italy. The villa has its own vineyard and can supply the wine cheaply, and the meal of wild boar and handmade pasta is locally sourced. "Tuscany offers good quality and value," McCabe says. "It's more about the value of what we are getting for what we are spending."
THE GREEN WEDDING
For Aoibheann McCann, having a "green" wedding ceremony was a natural choice. "We tried to keep everything as local as possible," says Galway-based McCann, who is an active member of the Green Party.
She and partner Anthony Callanan celebrated with friends and family in an environment steeped in nature at the Celtic-inspired Brigit's Garden in Roscahill on St Patrick's Day."We were already legally married in a registry office 10 years ago, but there was only myself and himself there and we have been saying we should do this for years," McCann says.
By keeping numbers low, serving vegetarian food and sourcing local flowers for the table decorations, the couple reduced the party's impact on both the planet and their budget. But some ethically-sound options, such as fair-trade jewellery, were not available locally. "We did as much as we could, but some things were impossible," says McCann. The eco-honeymoon was easier to plan: "We hired a canal boat with a little wood stove in it to go up around the canals in Leitrim. We felt it was the lowest impact thing we could do."
"Floating down the canals was the perfect antidote to the stress of the wedding," says Callanan. "With kingfishers zipping by and pine-martins scurrying along the riverbank, the whole experience was very romantic and totally unforgettable."