Ireland could have a ban on smacking children by the end of the year, but public opinion is divided. Róisín Ingle reports
To smack or not to smack, that is still the question. After the House of Lords in England stopped short of implementing a total ban on the slapping of children this week, introducing a measure that allows for light smacks but not the kind that cause physical or mental harm, public opinion on this thorny issue is as divided as ever.
Not surprisingly, anti-smacking groups such as the Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (ISPCC) have welcomed the UK move as a step on the road to clarifying the situation in Ireland where the Victorian-era legal defence of "reasonable chastisement" is still in place.
ISPCC chief executive Paul Gilligan was in the House of Lords for the debate on the controversial Children Bill. "We are firmly of the view that smacking should be made illegal," he says. "This is not about making criminals of parents but about ensuring equal rights for children. They are entitled not to be exposed to abuse."
To date, smacking has been banned in 12 European countries and experts believe a ban could be introduced here very soon. Last year the World Organisation Against Torture made a complaint against Ireland and other countries who have yet to implement a smacking ban. The organisation claims Ireland is in defiance of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which this country has ratified, and of the European Revised Social Charter. A spokeswoman for the Department of Foreign Affairs said that when it comes to smacking, Ireland "is in compliance" with European law.
The issue is expected to be resolved later this year. In the meantime, parents all over the country struggle with the question of whether smacking children is an abuse of power or merely an effective parenting tool.
I knew I wouldn't do it again
Irene (33), designer, mother of two,Co Kildare
I don't agree with hitting children. For a start, it doesn't work. There was one occasion when my daughter was throwing a tantrum that I reached out and slapped her, not even that hard, but she looked at me with such horror in her face as if to say "Why are you hitting me?". I felt so guilty, I knew I would never do it again. As far I could see, it made no difference to the situation except to make me feel guilty.
I don't think there is ever a reason to raise your hand to a child. Most people do it when they get really angry and feel there is no other alternative, which seems like quite a scary time to start physically disciplining your child. If my son is throwing a tantrum because it's time for bed and he wants to watch television, I'll say no, but you can have a story instead. There is no point trying to have an adult conversation with a child but there are ways to distract them.
I think being hit as a child myself - I had many a red backside - had a harmful affect on me. I never opened my mouth to my mother. At one point, it stopped me having the confidence to go on and do things for myself. I really think it's important not to be always saying no to children because you can end up breaking their spirit. Discipline is important but there are always alternatives.
I smacked my own and I don't regret it
John (57), teacher, father of three,
Dublin
I was a teacher when corporal punishment was still in vogue. I was told: "If you want to survive here, you will use the stick." When the stick was taken away, nothing was put in its place and in the inner city, where I worked, this caused dreadful problems. Schools are a lot more unruly now because parents haven't disciplined their children properly.
Smacking says "That's the end of it," but now there is a whole bureaucracy of sanctions and things are worse. Over the years we have jokingly asked children which they would prefer, a smack or lines, and they always say a smack.
I was beaten at school, to a degree that it was way out of order, so I know that there is a fine line between slapping and beating. I still wouldn't support a total ban on it, though. I smacked my own children until they were four or five and I don't regret that because it was necessary in certain circumstances.
It was the exception rather than the rule
Betty (67), mother of six, grandmother of five, Co Westmeath
I was watching a television programme the other night where a child was in the grips of a terrible tantrum and the nanny was doing everything except what I thought would sort out the situation - a quick smack on the bum. I did smack my children in certain circumstances, for disobedience and tantrums. It's funny though, I would never touch my grandchildren that way. It's a parent's prerogative, I feel, and only they can make that decision. When I smacked my children it was the exception rather than the rule. My brothers got the wooden spoon when we were growing up but I only got slaps on the legs or arms. People today use words like beating and battering when they are talking about slapping. They say children are little people so they should not be slapped. But children are little people who need to be trained and it's one way of training them.
How can you say one kind of slapping is OK?
William, (40) engineer, two children,
Dublin
I just don't know if slapping is effective and while I'm not sure a child getting smacked is a terrible thing my wife has strong views on the subject so we don't do it. I think it's virtually impossible to legislate for issues like this. How can you say one kind of slapping is okay but another kind is not? You might not be able to see physical evidence of a slap but how do you know mental anguish hasn't been caused? On the other hand, like the smoking ban and compulsory seat belts, there is a welfare issue here. Perhaps sending a message that smacking is not the way to discipline children will change the way people think about child rearing. Still, if people ended up in court for slapping I don't think that would be useful at all.