Most email packages such as Pegasus and Eudora have a feature where you can attach a "signature" (or "sig") at the end of your outgoing mail - a few lines of text such as straightforward information (your phone number and address). Or you might want to personalise it more, with a bit of "ASCII art" (those clever/silly little pictures made from individual letters).
Best of all, though, are "zingers". These are miniquotes, usually one-liners, which range from the pithy to the personal, the daft to the profound. Here are just a few that have been lurking at the end of email coming in to Computimes over the past three or four years:
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
>> Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
>> Electronic mail: A communications system with built-in delays and errors designed to emulate those of our postal service.
>> We don't care. We don't have to. We're your telecom company.
>> Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
>> Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
>> Microsoft Windows 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 00!
>> Equal bytes for women.
>> Coming soon: Windows NT for the Nintendo!
>> Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here.
>> My Karma ran over my Dogma.
>> When all else fails, manipulate the data.
>> Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine!
>> No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.
>> There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
>> Meetings. The practical alter- native to work.
>> We've upped our standards, now up yours.
>> "He ended the job as he began it: fired with enthusiasm."
>> I'm not myself today. Maybe I'm you.
>> So much to do, so litt(hang on a sec. . .)
>> Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with tomato sauce.
>> Hi! I'm a shareware signature! Send $5 if you use me, send $10 for manual!
>> Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
>> I don't live in fantasy; I only work there.
>> If you read in the bathroom, is that multitasking?
>> The posting above is just this .sig's way of propagating itself.
>> A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the "Send" button.
>> "Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed."
>> "What's this thing?" "It's called a MODEM." "And what's this button for?" "Whatever you do, don't touc
7b87789sdf7979sdf98sd7f8h6xx! @%%hx#*!&z9$o.(bd&$#)$% "No carrier"