DAIL SKETCH/Michael O'Regan: The president of Europe stared downwards at his brief on the Taoiseach's bench, and listened as a possible explanation for the current bank controversies was put forward.
The Socialist Party deputy, Joe Higgins, believed that it might all have to do with a song from the Dubliners' ballad group and the miracle of immaculate conception.
He suggested that the air of injured innocence of the most senior people involved might have come from a Monty Python script.
"A chief executive, who had €40,000 invested for him with magnificently generous returns, is giving the impression that the closest he ever came to hearing a word like 'Faldor', might be a Dubliners' song containing the words 'with me right fal-de-o'".
The same chief executive, said Mr Higgins, had claimed he was an unknowing beneficiary of this structure, resulting in "the generation of unexpected tax liability", while another senior executive had €33,000 invested in 1989, and, inexplicably, a few short years later it had grown to a massive €81,000, at which he professed amazement.
"This must be the banking sector's very own phenomenon of immaculate conception - amazing things happen but nobody knows quite how."
Still staring at his brief, and refusing to look Mr Higgins in the eye, Mr Ahern seemed like a man who would prefer to be dealing with the arcane subject of an EU constitution. But there was no stopping Mr Higgins.
While the banks were defrauding taxes, speculators were bribing top Fianna Fáil politicians and getting rotten rich on consequent rezoning, said Mr Higgins. Meanwhile, he added, at the time, "the Taoiseach was writing blank cheques for Charvet shirts".
Mr Higgins wondered if the Minister for Justice, Michael McDowell, was ordering a wing of Wheatfield prison to be cleared to make way for senior banking executives suspected of serious tax evasion as he did around May Day for young persons suspected of stealing a garda's cap.
"Perhaps he is sending water-canon into the bank's boardrooms to flush out the truth about those who organised all this racketeering?" The president of Europe remained unimpressed. "I have already stated the powers that exist," he said, sharply. "These issues should not be treated in a light-hearted manner. The result of doing so is that they are not taken seriously. These are very serious matters."
Mr Higgins was philosophical. "When all else fails, one must resort to humour."
Earlier, the president of Europe revealed that he will be in France, Britain, the Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany and Denmark this week. Presumably, there will be a stopover in Drumcondra.