Dáil Sketch:The little shop just inside the Kildare Street gate used to do a nice line in china collectables. Nestled among the sweeties, newspapers and packets of biscuits were delicate Belleek and Ainsley ornaments decorated with little shamrocks and Celtic motifs.
So when word came through that Ceann Comhairle John O'Donoghue was to perform the official opening of the newly refurbished shop yesterday, the organisers of the event appeared commendably calm. The new building is all glass. There are a lot of breakables inside.
And here they were, happy to let a man known as the Bull O'Donoghue do the honours. Bull in a china shop? Think of the risk!
This being Leinster House, a large contingent of deputies and Senators turned out for the opening ceremony. They can't resist a spot of ribbon cutting.
They saw the green velvet tape stretched across the door and were drawn to it, like moths to a flame. When the appointed time dawned, the chamber emptied and a jolly gallop ensued down the plinth towards the photographers.
Needless to say, Bertie Ahern, serial plaque unveiler and recidivist ribbon-cutter, couldn't be kept away. He almost beat the Ceann Comhairle in the 50-yard dash to the podium, but was forced to pull up hard on the closing straight when he saw Packie Bonner and the chief executive of the FAI to his left.
John Delaney and Packie had been in the Dáil visiting Minister for Integration Conor Lenihan to discuss the association's intercultural football plan. (At least that was their story, although some of us suspected it was only a smokescreen and Delaney was really in to get Bertie's imprimatur on the appointment of Giovanni Trapattoni as the new Republic of Ireland manager.)
Clearly, the Taoiseach approves. Sure hasn't he eaten in Mr Trapadero's wonderful restaurant on many occasions? With football on the menu, The Bert was in great form throughout the morning until Labour's Eamon Gilmore started persecuting him again over his High Court challenge to the Mahon tribunal.
But his ordeal didn't last too long. Dáil business was brisk, because a magnificent little sweetie shop at the front gate needed to be officially opened.
The ceremony commenced after midday. A sizeable complement of Dáil ushers were on hand to keep order and to make sure the Bull didn't cause too much damage to the stock.
First to speak was Barry Andrews TD, chairman of the Oireachtas Joint Administration Committee. Next was Angela Kerins, chief executive of the Rehab Group. "An Siopa" is one of four shops run in Dublin by Rehab, providing integrated social employment opportunities for workers with disabilities.
She was followed by the Ceann Comhairle, who spoke at length in Irish and English about Rehab, and the modern architectural wonder that is the new shop. He welcomed the Taoiseach. "When I saw him with the members of the FAI earlier, I was wondering if he had replaced Mr Trapattoni in their plans, but, in fact, he hasn't," chuckled the Bull.
Then came the part that gladdens the heart of every politician: the cutting of the ribbon. John and Bertie joined Mark Casey, custodian of the cash register, at the glass door.
The Bull looked at The Bert. Ceann Comhairle versus Taoiseach. Only the one scissors between them. Bertie lowered his hands towards his hips like a gunslinger, flexing his fingers. Would he be able to resist?
Convention won the day. John O'Donoghue seized the scissors and snipped with a lovely smooth movement.
The deputies and Senators swooned in admiration and burst into applause. Ten out of 10 for technique. The Bull stepped carefully inside. The fittings look very swish. The chocolate bars are in a refrigerated cabinet. The sweeties are in special drawers.
And as it turned out, there was no need to worry. The shop doesn't stock any china.
