During a quiet moment in the the recent Dunnes payments saga at Dublin Castle, I nodded off and suddenly found myself in the witness box at the 1999 Fianna Fail (War Crimes) tribunal. The following are a few selected extracts from the transcript.
(Extract 1)
Counsel for the Tribunal: I want to first thank you for your co-operation with us, Mr McNally, and for your very full discovery of documents.
Witness: Don't mention it.
CT: I won't again, don't worry. Now, you were born in Monaghan in or around 1962, is that correct?
Witness: I honestly have no recollection of those events.
CT: I didn't expect you would, Mr McNally, but we have evidence that this is the case. So, when did you first become a member of the organisation known as Fianna Fail?
Witness: I didn't. I was never actually a member.
CT: I see. But you have been closely associated with members of that organisation, have you not?
Witness: I don't know what you mean, exactly.
CT: I think you know very well what I mean. You were born into what is termed a "Fianna Fail family". Isn't that so?
Witness: If you want to describe it like that, yes, I was a member of such a family.
CT: You were a member? Has your subscription lapsed? (Laughter from the public gallery.)
Witness: Well, I've missed the last few meetings. (More laughter, objection from witness's mother.)
(Extract 2)
CT: Were you familiar at any time with a man called Jack Lynch?
Witness: I knew of him. Of course, we just called him Jack.
CT: Did you ever speak to this . . . "Jack"?
Witness: (laughing incredulously) No . . . . I spoke to people who spoke to other people who maybe spoke to him. I don't know.
CT: There were . . . "buffers" between you and Mr Lynch.
Witness: (in New York-Italian accent) Yeah . . . buffers. There were a lot of buffers. (Laughter from gallery.)
CT: Please don't be flippant, Mr McNally. Are you familiar with the term "the party machine"?
Witness: (looking nervous) I . . . I don't think so.
CT: Well, let me refresh your memory. The Fianna Fail party machine was a legendary vote-getting operation, organised along military lines. It knew the political affiliations of everyone and stopped at nothing to, as the phrase goes, "get the vote out". It also commandeered a vast fleet of cars which were used for this purpose on election day. Is any of that familiar to you?
Witness: It rings a vague bell.
CT: Let me ring it louder for you. What was the extent of your involvement in the 1973 election campaign?
Witness: (affecting nonchalance) Oh . . . it was nothing very important. Stuffing literature in envelopes and sticking address labels on them. Putting up posters. That kind of thing.
CT: There was nothing else - no dirty tricks campaigns, or anything like that? Witness: I don't know what you're getting at.
CT: Did you or did you not assist in the tearing down of a Fine Gael poster from a lamppost in Carrickmacross the night before the election?
Counsel for the Witness: Objection, Mr Chairman. I fail to see what relevance this has to the work of the tribunal.
Chairman: Well, I'm afraid it is highly relevant. I refer you to paragraph 27 (b) of the terms of reference: "The tribunal shall inquire into any matters such as shall cause grave embarrassment to the witness, or give us all a good laugh, or both."
Counsel for the witness: Just checking, Mr Chairman.
Witness: (bursting into tears) I was only a boy. I didn't know what I was doing.
(Extract 3)
CT: I want to bring you forward now to 1977, to the party's youth conference in the Gresham Hotel. It was a weekend in January. Do you remember that?
Witness: Yes, I do.
CT: You were sent as a delegate. Why did the party send you, of all people?
Witness: I suppose it was an investment in the future. Maybe they hoped it might raise my level of interest.
CT: Speaking of your level of interest. What do you recall of the Saturday afternoon debate on long-term unemployment?
Witness: Er . . . it's been a very long time . . . It's hard to recall precise details.
CT: Yes, I imagine it's particularly hard to recall details when you were in fact up in your room at the time, watching the IrelandWales rugby match on television? (Gasps, angry noises in the gallery.)
Chairman: Order! Order!
Witness: I . . . I'm afraid I can't answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.
CT: Well, I can understand that your former friends might take a dim view of your non-attendance at the debate . . .
Witness: No, actually. They take a dim view of rugby.
(Extract 4)
CT: I'd like to turn now to the 1977 general election. Do you remember much about that campaign?
Witness: (making audible squirming noises) Not a lot.
CT: For instance, did you, during that campaign, distribute mock motor tax discs bearing the legend "Jun 77, No Tax"?
Witness: I have no specific recollection of that. I should explain . . . my memory of that year was largely erased in a freak accident involving my head and a passing hurley. I remember nothing that happened for several months afterwards.
CT: You managed to pass the Leaving Certificate in 1978?
Witness: Yes, luckily, none of the questions were on stuff we did in fourth year.
Tribunal chairman: Just one point of clarification, Mr McNally. You don't happen to know who won the 1977 FA Cup Final?
Witness: Yeah - Man. United. They beat Liverpool 2-1. The stupidest winning goal you ever seen. Chairman: Thank you. I think that answer may prove helpful.
Extract 5
CT: Your involvement in active politics appears to have tailed off in or around 1978. What happened then?
Witness: I became strongly influenced by Proudhon's doctrine that before democracy could triumph it was first necessary to purify our atmosphere and transform completely the surroundings in which we lived, because these corrupt our instincts and our wills and constrict our hearts and our intelligences.
CT: Let me simplify that, if I may. You became involved with a girl, and lost interest in everything else?
Witness: More or less.
CT: I have no further questions. Is there anything you would like to add to your testimony, Mr McNally?
Witness: Yes. I would like you to know that at all times, I was only obeying orders.