It's award time again. In the next 48 hours readers will learn the mix of great and good comprising the New Year's Honours List.
Our own less reverent (but no less serious) list this year has been drawn-up in consultation with one of Westminster's shrewdest political observers. Discussion was intense and competition pretty fierce, before the nominating committee concluded the final list. Conscious that Mr Blair's list for Queen Elizabeth will bring another batch of working peers, we decided to include an "Ongoing Disappointment Award" this year. It goes to the Prime Minister, Tony Blair, for failing to follow through reform and establish a democratic second chamber at Westminster.
Mr Blair wins two further awards: one for "Best Speech of the Year" (successfully addressing party and country at the Labour Conference), and a second for "Worst Speech of the Year" (for that "party political" address to the Women's Institute).
And the Prime Minister basks in reflected glory, as Alistair Campbell claims "Best Spin of the Year" for duping the Tories and enabling Mr Blair to claim a triumph at the EU summit in Nice.
Mr Campbell also takes the prize for "Worst Spin of the Year" - for trying so unconvincingly to rubbish Andrew Rawnsley's superb book telling us, among many other things, that Chancellor Brown lied about Bernie Ecclestone's million pound donation to the party.
Thinking of dysfunctional relationships at the heart of government, the committee decided to exceed their domestic brief and give the "Keeping Up Appearances Award" jointly to David Trimble and Seamus Mallon.
And with nothing of the same sort in mind at all (no, really!), Mr Blair's two leading lights could not be passed over. The "Prodigal Son Award" goes to Peter Mandelson, for a successful return to Cabinet to keep the Northern Ireland peace process afloat. And Chancellor Gordon Brown is "Escapologist of the Year" - for successfully digging himself out of a hole of his own making over petrol duties and pensions.
Not all politics is New Labour, of course. And the first of two awards goes to Tory leader William Hague for the "Best Political Joke of the Year": that was the one about John Prescott thinking an alternative transport policy was getting out of one Jaguar and into another.
Mr Prescott was also a serious contender for an award in his own right - as "Loser of the Year". Accused of male chauvinism in the bitter aftermath of the Hague summit, and with the railways a mess, Mr Prescott goes into election year with more journeys being made by car than when he assumed office. (He did say he would consider himself to have failed if he didn't reverse that trend.)
Frank Dobson was also a strong contender, until last-minute indications that the hapless Labour candidate for London Mayor might be rewarded with the post of chief whip in a post-election reshuffle.
However, after careful deliberation, the award for "Loser of the Year" had to go to Mo Mowlam - who barely a year ago was thought of as a possible Foreign Secretary and was even tipped as a possible successor to Mr Blair. She now contemplates retirement from frontline politics come the election.
Mention of Frank Dobson points to the undisputed "Winner of the Year" - Ken Livingstone, who refused to be cheated, took the independent route and triumphed over machine politics, and this despite Mr Blair's repeated warnings that he would be "a disaster" for Londoners.
Mr Blair looked set for the "Big Initiative That Went Wrong" award, following his proposal to let police march drunken yobs to cash machines to pay instant fines. However, Tory Ann Widdecombe stole the show with her promise to criminalise anybody caught in possession of a joint.
Michael Portillo is nominated for "Political Courage" for daring to tell Tories they can only command respect if they first extend it to people, thus triggering that ambush by the Hague supporters determined to put paid to his leadership ambitions.
Which brings us neatly to the final award. With little need for explanation, Mr Hague claims his second accolade, as "Optimist of the Year".