Bruton beamed in as flash mob of FG chiefs talk up treaty

SKETCH: FOR A political flash mob, it was quite a line-up yesterday: Enda Kenny, Garret FitzGerald, Alan Dukes, Michael Noonan…

SKETCH:FOR A political flash mob, it was quite a line-up yesterday: Enda Kenny, Garret FitzGerald, Alan Dukes, Michael Noonan and Mr Samsung in the corner.

Decades of daggers and a history of heaves were at the top table when the leader of Fine Gael and his four predecessors got together to make a final call for a Yes vote tomorrow.

Enda, Garret, Alan and Michael were present in person; former taoiseach Bruton was represented by a 40in plasma TV on a stand.

"John Bruton is at the EU/US summit in Slovenia," announced Indakinny, with no small amount of pride. Whereupon the screen flickered to life to reveal The Brute sitting in front of a panoramic shot of Washington's Capitol Hill.

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His audience in the Shelbourne Hotel focused on the Samsung, and the talking head of a very serious Bruton, our EU ambassador to the United States. He spoke slowly, wearing a glazed expression, and seemed to be in the televisual equivalent of an express photo booth.

Back in Dublin, his leader and fellow former leaders tried their best to appear spellbound as their colleague argued for Europe. But like everyone else in the room, they were probably praying for John to finish before his two euro ran out so he wouldn't have to put another coin in the slot to restart the autocue.

The audience listened solemnly. It was a very strange few minutes. He posed a question. "You might ask: 'Why does it matter?'" We might, but you wouldn't be able to hear us.

After about five minutes, John came to an abrupt stop. The screen went dark. There was no applause. Just silence, and Michael Noonan with a mischievous grin on his face.

The party leader rushed to the rescue. "Thanks very much, John," said Enda to the screen, before turning to face the room. "He can't hear us. He's in Slovenia."

He introduced Garret FitzGerald, and congratulated him "on his activity level." Garret is 82, but nobody's told him. He has more brains than Nicolas Sarkozy, and that's six, according to Mrs Sarkozy.

The referendum is "a tricky way to do things", said Dr FitzGerald, clearly delighted. "Those who want to defeat this have a long time to invent all kinds of arguments," he contended, but added he felt the tide turning again in favour of the Yes campaign.

He can't wait for the count. "I have my records for every Irish election since 1943!" he announced happily, impatient to add another set of statistics to his collection.

Alan Dukes was not to be outdone. "I've been studying treaties for over 40 years!" he beamed. "From even before I became a student of Garret." Dukes argued that the European project has been very good to Ireland over the last 51 years. "Is it suddenly going to turn Turk and become a malign influence?"

Not to be outdone, Michael Noonan pointed out he has been involved in referendums going way back to 1973. "We won some and lost some, but this is the most difficult campaign I've been in," he ventured from the perspective of someone "knocking on doors at local level" - morning Noonan night.

He cited young people he encountered as being against the treaty, but put that down to the rebelliousness of youth. There is a section of older voters who say they will vote No because they fear the Lisbon Treaty will herald social changes. "Sincere people, who are still worried."

Then Noonan noted a new breed of voters, very familiar to listeners to radio phone-in shows. "There is also a celebrity kind of fashionable elite which, for the first time, seems to be voting no ... It's not very large, but it's significant."

Enda offered solace. "I understand John is coming home to vote on Thursday." Deputy Kenny felt a turning point for the Yes camp was when Fine Gael called for the party leaders to issue a joint statement.

With a day to go to the vote, the responsibility game is beginning, with Enda making sure yesterday to mark down some early credit. All supposing the result goes the right way.

What about the Yes side's slow start? "I raised this in the Dáil," he replied, explaining he had tried repeatedly to get a date for the referendum from a beleaguered Bertie. "I was disappointed with that, but we are where we are." He was asked to elaborate, but didn't rise to the bait. There will be time enough after the referendum to debate the effect of the (short-lived) Apotheosis of Ahern and the Accession of Cowen on the campaign.

But Enda feels a surge. In fact, all at the top table felt the surge yesterday. "A change of expressed public opinion," is what Alan Dukes called it, after the shock result of last week's opinion poll knocked everyone for six.

We can't say if John Bruton was feeling the surges in Slovenia, as he had been powered off.

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday