IT'S A DAD'S LIFE: Adam Brophy on cash for kids
Phone banking is a blessing. Stroll down the street, dial a 1890 number and find out, on the spot, how much in debt you are. Magnificent. So it was with joy in my heart last week that I let out a yip in the middle of Grafton Street on discovering an extra €500 sitting in the old joint account.
Five ton, half a grand, all for me, hmmm. Somewhere, simultaneously, the missus was having the same idea.
I twigged the cash was from himself, the Minister for Children, who had promised €250 quarterly for each child under the age of six in the State. This payment was backdated to April, May and June of this year, and we can expect two more of the same before Christmas. We're loaded.
I considered blowing the lot on a Panama hat in Brown Thomas but quickly remembered the fridge was empty at home. Anyway, guilt was starting to creep in, that really this was the kids' money. But wouldn't they want me to have a hat? Of course they would. This was a windfall and should be enjoyed.
Before giving serious thought to what little treat was my due, I had some chores to attend to. Quick stop off for a month's supply of nappies and babywipes (€80), rush up to the crèche where the kids are minded part-time, pick them up and fork out for the month (€800), stop off to sort out the elder's new school uniform as her first day is fast approaching (I dunno, couple of hundred euro all together), and then leg it home, via the chemist for their skincream (€25), to cook the dinner of overpriced organic grub which they proceed to wallpaper the kitchen with.
But I didn't mind; after all, that extra €500 for the two kids over three months was burning a hole in my pocket and I had a whale of indulging to look forward to. I won't have to give much thought to where my vote's going next time round, thank you very much Minister.
I have one buddy who has three kids, four and under. She works in the media, and has done for about 10 years. While the world of Irish language TV is incredibly glamorous, it is not all speedboats, premieres and Versace frocks. She loves her job, her workmates, the atmosphere and attitude within the company, and the actual work itself. She is paid well, if not extravagantly by Tiger standards, for that work.
Now she has a choice to make. If she goes back to work fulltime immediately after maternity leave, her net income will exceed her childcare bill, but not by a whole lot, even with the Government's lofty bonus. Does she leave her job and the career she has invested a huge amount of her adult life in, or does she continue to work for little more than the privilege of working?
For, in fact, €250 every quarter is nothing. Absolutely nothing in relation to the costs involved in raising a child. A more obvious, overt, shortsighted, pre-election token gesture I have never before witnessed. For years parents have been asking that childcare expenses be tax deductible, or that creches be State subsidised or, more appropriately, State funded. These are, to me, imperative developments but more costly and less dramatic than a simple cash splurge. They are also strictly independent of the philosophical debate on whether one parent should stay at home with their young children for at least a part of their formative years.
But, on the same note, shouldn't that stay-at-home role be acknowledged for the impact it has on careers, family identities and incomes, and be recompensed accordingly? At some point a long-term, supportive family policy will have to be put into place that will come to the aid of floundering young parents in an economy that demands everybody get out and work.
As for now, I'm avoiding all creditors and sinking my lump sum into financial futures. I feel like I've joined the jet-set.
abrophy@irish-times.ie