Caught on the Web: Operating system airlines

DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then jumps on and lets the plane coast until it hits the ground again…

DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then jumps on and lets the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on again, etc.

DOS with QEMM Airline: The same with more leg room to push.

Mac Airline: All the cabin staff, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look, act and talk the same. If you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you, so just shut up.

OS/2 Airline: To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10 times by standing in 10 queues. Then you fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. You have a wonderful trip . . . except when the rudder and flaps freeze, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get prepared before the crash.

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Windows Airline: The airport terminal is nice and colourful, with friendly staff, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff . . . then the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever.

NT Airline: Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison, and forms the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they're flying.

Unix Airline: Everyone brings one piece of the plane to the airport. They go out on the runway and put the plane together, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.

Caught at: oraclehumor.com