SO the sun is shining, the economy is booming, all those politicians are telling you how wonderful you are, and you're feeling good. Well, tough. The end of the world is nigh. The HaleBopp comet will hit the sun sometime between tomorrow and November 1st and all hell will break loose.
So says William Kamm and he knows about these things. Also known as "the Little Pebble" he is "a Catholic mystic/modern day prophet whose communications from heaven make him one of the most controversial figures in the Catholic world today".
But his activities do not have the Catholic Church's approval "at this time". So says the Marian Work of Atonement in Ireland group, set up to promote Mr Kamm's word in this State. His latest word, via his home in Australia, has been issued to "the people of the world".
"You may be cynical and laugh it of as has been done for so many years," says William Kamm. But you ignore this message at your peril. Because when HaleBopp hits the sun the world will be "in great danger". There will be "earthquakes, tidal waves and volcanic disturbances", all that sort of stuff. "Much of our food and water will be spoiled", too. And all will be part of a spectacular call from God, via the Little Pebble, to repent and be good for tomorrow we may die.
There will be two further such warnings from God between now and 2000. The second will concern the Pope leaving Rome and the Third World War. The last one will be a pussycat in comparison. It will deal with the arrival of another comet in our atmosphere, called Khoutek. But that will be then.
For now, the Little Pebble advises that when HaleBopp hits the sun in coming months, even days, "you are to go inside your homes and remain there for seven days". Store food, warm blankets and warm clothing, cover your windows with (black) plastic, keep (other) animals outside, store candles, oil lamps, torches, spare batteries, wood, gas, oil, and generators. When the seven days have passed, "the aftereffects will continue for six weeks".
The Little Pebble intends repeating this message again and again, so for God's sake listen and give us all a break. He "will not stop from giving out this Word of Truth for the sake of the little souls who may yet open their hearts." Bless him.