Community grieves as news of death spreads

"It's unbelievably sad

"It's unbelievably sad. There's a feeling of unreality about it," one mother said yesterday as news of the death of 11-year-old Mark O'Neill spread around the community of Rosbrien.

Parents and teachers were wary of speaking openly of the death of the boy, who was found hanged in his bedroom, out of regard for the family involved. "It's sad. A tragedy, what more can you say?" one school principal commented.

"My heart goes out to that mother. She will have to live with this for the rest of her life," said another mother.

Mark was a student at the CBS primary school, Sexton Street, Limerick, where Minister for Education Mary Hanafin paid a private visit yesterday to principal Patrick Hanley and his staff to "express her support and sympathy".

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The National Educational Psychological Service (Neps) was also there to support teachers' efforts to help the pupils deal with the tragedy.

"The community is shocked, but it's just one of a number of suicides that have taken place in the last eight-month period," said Trish Ford Brennan, who has held offices in both the primary, secondary and third-level parents' councils.

"I was speaking with parents last night and they are concerned that there needs to be a partnership between parents and schools in supporting the self-esteem of the child and developing communication skills and coping mechanisms for handling life, for both parents and children."

Rosbrien is a settled and stable lower middle class community of three-bed semi-detached houses, many owned by older people who once worked in the Civil Service or at Shannon airport.

The number of suicides in the area has led to the establishment of the Rosbrien Suicide Awareness Group, which has listed on its website the names of six young men, aged between 17 and 26, who had committed suicide.

Suicides by children aged 14 and younger occur once or twice a year, with the youngest in the State aged 9, said Dan Neville, a Fine Gael TD for Limerick West and president of the Irish Association of Suicidology.

"Six- and seven-year-olds discuss suicide and know what suicide is. For some children and adolescents, as with some adults, suicide appears to them the only way to end suffering and desperation," he said.

Child psychiatrist Dr Peadar O'Grady said a "ridiculous amount of pressure" was being put on parents and children to cope with a society that was based on academic and financial achievement.

It was "obscene" that, in a wealthy country, in some areas children in need of psychological help had to wait for two years.

"For an 11-year-old there is always an element of 'suicide' being an accident and I wouldn't want to comment on this individual case. It does raise the ridiculous amount of pressures that parents and children are under."

Fr Joe Young, a chaplain to the Brothers of Charity in Limerick, said that for the most vulnerable there was "a terrible feeling of isolation and having no one to turn to".

The emotional impact on children in Rosbrien has been felt beyond the 11-year-old's own school.

Children have expressed feelings of guilt and anger, said Pat Lyons, principal of the Presentation primary school, also on Sexton Street.

"There have been tears as there would be on the death of any young child, not just among our pupils but among some of the teachers also," he said.

"We have talked with the children about the meaning of life, the importance of a healthy lifestyle and good mental health and the value of of a deep religious faith."

Dr O'Grady said he would advise parents to talk to children about suicide because they will be relieved to have the issue acknowledged. Parents who noticed any shift in their childrens' behaviour, such as becoming withdrawn, irritable or changing in any way, should talk to someone in their circle of family and friends whom they trust.

"Don't be embarrassed if you think you are not the best parent. It's in the interest of your child for you to share," he said.