1. Shake 'n' Vac: There is literally no circumstance in which it was ever acceptable to get this excited about vacuuming a living room. This woman was clearly unhinged. Her dog should have been taken into care and she should have been let nowhere near our television screens.
2. Harp lager: Pity the poor man who was cast as the "lead" in this ad. He probably thought it was his big break. But does anyone remember his name? Did he even have a name? Now Sally O'Brien? She was all name and come to bed with me eyes. And she wasn't even Irish. He real name was - and still is - Vicki Michelle and hilariously Wikipedia thinks she's best known for her roles in 'Allo 'Allo! and in Emmerdale. As if.
3. Kerrygold (take one): "There is something I can help?"
“Well, you can put a bit of butter on the spuds, Andre.”
Was this a euphemism?
Almost certainly. But for what exactly? We may never know.
4. Kerrygold (take two): The butter-fuelled sexual tension continued only this time it was an innocent Irish man who was falling under the corrupting influence of a scarlet woman from France. At least that is what the mysterious Mrs Mac must have thought as she broke up their tête-à-tête with a disapproving glare and a promise/warning that "we're going to be serving up any minute".
Then, at the climax, came the immortal question: “Who’s taking the horse to France?”
Who indeed, little boy. Who indeed?
5. Telecom Éireann: There was so much that was wrong about this ad. The fluorescent pink leggings. The jackets with "punky" chains hanging from them. Lyrics such as: "We don't need your stupid messing. We all want to use the Phone" set to a Pink Floyd tune. And then Bob Geldof randomly appearing in the corner of the screen delivering the line with all the conviction of Bob Dylan accepting his Nobel Prize off Donald Trump.
6. Water safety: Where's granddad? Granddad's dead. But he's not the only one. Brian is dead too. So is the little toddler in the garden. And the killer? Water. Stay safe people.
7. Guinness (take one): "Ta Siad ag teacht". Probably the best made Guinness ad in the world.
8. Guinness (take two): Actor Joe McKinney as the dancing man waiting for his pint was great. The ad was great. Ireland was great. Everything was great back in 1995.
9. Fire safety: For years "John, did you put the cat out" became a catch phrase in Ireland. Poor John. His missus sounds horrible. His living room looks horrible. Everything about this ad is just horrible.
10. Cadet: The kind of ad Stalin would have approved of.
11. Birds Eye Potato waffles: They're waffley versatile you know.
12. The Financial Regulator: Can you believe this fella didn't know what a tracker is? Bet he does now.
13. Na na, na, na: "50 50 Cashback. 50 50 Cash back. it's half price gas. It's half price gas. The ad is kind of rubbish but once you hear it you'll be singing the jingle all day. You're welcome.
14. Milk: And speaking of ear worms, we couldn't resist this.
15. Safe Cross Code: Know the code. No, seriously, know it. It could still save your life, after all these years.
