Christmas crackers

Tom Smith Christmas Crackers

€29.99 for six

Highs:If you believe the packaging (and we always do) Tom Smith was the man who invented the Christmas cracker while on a trip to France in the 1840s. He's been making them every since and clearly has learnt how to deliver a good loud bang. These are expensive, grown-up crackers and the novelties are suitably tasteful; they include cufflinks, pens and picture holders - we got a surprisingly heavy silver-coloured bracelet.

Lows:At a fiver a pop (or should that be snap) they are very expensive. The hat was flimsy and surprisingly cheap-looking given the price. It also seemed to be designed with a giant's head in mind.

Sample Joke:Why do children brighten a home? They never turn the lights off.

Verdict:Good adult crackers.

Star rating: ****

The Simpsons Xmas Crackers

€15 for six

Highs:These are brightly coloured and suitably festive, each one corresponding to a member of the cartoon family, including the dog, Santa's Little Helper, drafted in to make up the numbers. The crackers made an admirably loud noise when pulled and some of the novelties on offer, including a whoopee cushion and a yo-yo, might offer some vague diversion.

Lows:Given that The Simpsons has been so consistently funny for so many years, we had great hopes for the jokes in these crackers, only to find that there were no jokes at all included on the cards, only a single piece of trivia that even the most casual of Simpsons fans could answer without difficulty.

Sample Joke:No jokes at all, for shame.

Verdict:D'oh!

Star rating: **

Christmas Crackers from Debenhams

€24/€16.80 for 12

Highs:PriceWatch bought these at the reduced price of €16.80, but even at the higher price they would be a bargain compared to some of the other crackers reviewed. They are brightly coloured and offer a nice range of novelties ranging from mini-water pistols to bottle openers. The hat was good and sturdy and seemed designed to fit a normal-sized adult head.

Lows:While water pistols are all well and good at the height of summer, we'd have to question the wisdom of offering them to over-excited children on one of the coldest and potentially fraught days of the year. The bang left a lot to be desired too.

Sample Joke:What has a bed but does not sleep and a mouth that does not speak? A river

Verdict:Good family crackers.

Star rating: ****

Past Times Tudor Crackers

€16 for six

Highs:Not only do these crackers have a joke, but they also come with a trivia question and a game, which seems above and beyond the call of duty. They have an understated tastefulness about them that will see them fit right in on a classily decorated tree.

Lows:As we learned from another box of crackers reviewed, the Christmas favourite was not invented until the Victorian era, so we have to question the historical accuracy of this brand. Besides, there is nothing remotely Tudory about them, unless they had magnetic address books around the time of Henry VIII.

Sample joke:Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work.

Verdict:Too tasteful.

Star rating: ***

Marks & Spencer Luxury Crackers

€29 for six

Highs:This good, sturdy cracker has a fine-quality hat and is slightly bigger and more expensive-looking than the competition. It is at the top end of Marks & Spencer's range of crackers - many cheaper alternatives are also available in the store - and has suitably posh novelties including pearl necklaces, diamante necklaces and silver tie-clips.

Lows:While the gifts are upmarket, they are still utterly useless, so you'd have to question the wisdom of spending any money on them. The jokes, if the one which appears below is anything to go by, are truly shocking.

Sample joke:What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.

Verdict:Overpriced and fussy.

Star rating: **