This year's most popular Christmas toys

Conor Pope: Santa has barely woken from his long post-Christmas slumber and the leaves have not yet fallen from the nation’s trees and already toy makers have listed the must-have toys which children will most likely want to find under festive trees. While you will be forgiven a weary sigh at the sight of it, Smyths has named what it reckons will be its best selling toys this year and it might just help avoid unseemly fights for the last of the Frozen pushbikes come Christmas Eve.

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RC Mario Kart 7 (€79.99 each): Mario has come to life - or at least his kart has. With Bowser, Yoshi or Mario at the helm your small ones will be able to send these cars hurtling around corners and the ankles of big people at breakneck speed. The carts come with “body-tilt technology” which sounds completely makey-uppy to us but hey! If it stops the cars crashing and smashing into little pieces it’s okay by us.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Interactive Figures (€144.99 each): Unless you’ve been living in a cave or a hermitage off the south west coast of Ireland (er, hang on) you’re probably aware Disney’s take on Star Wars is coming down the tracks and bringing a whole lot of merchandise with it. These horrendously expensive “Interactive” Darth Vaders, Chewys and Kylo Rens feature several modes of play from battle mode to training and talk mode. You know well that they’re not going to be as good as they look or sound but your kids don’t. Photograph: Smyths

NERF N-Strike Modulus ECS-10 Blaster (€56.49): Are Nerf guns still at thing? Apparently they are. This “exciting blaster” has a target scope, drop grip, dual-rail barrel and 10 dart banana clip. And that’s not all. It is a long-range NERF blaster “in over 30 different ways” with “unique removable parts”. These are all features which will no doubt impress a small child but will leave parents scratching their heads and wondering why the kids of today can’t use hurleys as guns the way we used to.

Our Generation Hair Play Doll Phoebe (€39.99): “Phoebe is part of a generation that dreams big for the world and also herself,” the bumpf tells us. “She has a huggable body, poseable fixed limbs and eyes that open and close. She comes with 12 accessories such as hair extensions, two metal heart clips and a hair style guide booklet.” Truth be told, with her dead-eyed stare and hair down to her toes, she looks kind of creepy.

Paw Patrol Paw Patroller (€84.99): Parents need to be very careful of the phrase “sold separately” when it appears on big boxes that may find their way into homes this Christmas. Take this Paw Patroller. It looks great – well it looks big – and comes with Ryder and his ATV vehicle. It can also hold three Paw Patrol vehicles inside and display up to six when it is opened up. But you have to buy each of those separately. More worrying are the “entertaining sound effects”. And we reckon the “real working lift” is not actually real at all.

VTech Toot Toot Friends Busy Sounds Discovery House (€49.99 ): Toddlers will love this brightly coloured little house. It plays over 35 songs, melodies, sounds and phrases and Magic Points throughout the playset interact with characters while the Magic Chat feature in the play room allows Magic Point characters to talk and sing to each other. Toddlers will love it and it will drive parents mad, like all the best toys.

Pie Face (€28.99): The world needs more board games. And it needs the threat of a pie in the face to hang over more people. This game satisfies both needs. You spin the spinner. The spinner tells you how many turns of the handle you must take. You turn the handle and hope you don’t get a pie in the face. You fill the throwing arm with the water soaked sponge included or whipped cream if you want to live on the edge (or vodka if the kids have gone to bed) and try to be the first to get 25 turns of the handle without getting hit in the face. It sounds messy. It also sounds like great craic.

LEGO Star Wars The Force Awakens Millennium Falcon 75105 (€139.99): This, on the other hand, does not sound like great craic. It sounds hideously complicated. A LEGO version of the Millennium Falcon “crammed with new and updated external features including a more streamlined and detailed design, detachable cockpit with space for 2 mini-figures, rotating top and bottom laser turrets with hatch and space for a mini-figure, dual spring-loaded shooters and an entrance hatch”. Can you just imagine how long it will take to build? And €140!!!

Mon Oct 05 2015 - 15:14

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