The nation is demanding an Obama-esque state of the nation address from the Taoiseach. Here, Frank McNallyoffers his take on what Brian Cowen might say
‘FRIENDS, CITIZENS, COUNTRYMEN: lend me your ears! And not just your ears. If there’s anything else you can lend me, all pledges would be gratefully accepted. We have people ready to take your call now at the number showing on screen. But I’ll come back to that later.
Sixty-five years ago, in the midst of another national emergency, Éamon de Valera addressed the people, much as I am doing this evening, and chose the occasion to outline his vision of the ideal Ireland.
He said the country of which he dreamed was one whose people would be satisfied with frugal comforts, and who devoted their leisure time to things of the spirit.
It was a land in which material wealth would be valued only as the basis for right living; a land whose countryside was bright with cosy homesteads; whose fields were joyous with the sounds of industry, with the contests of athletic youth, and the laughter of happy maidens.
It would be also be a land, he said, in which firesides were forums for the wisdom of serene old age.
I have to tell you tonight, citizens, that based on the latest exchequer figures, many of de Valera’s main aims are now at last within our reach.
For the first time in decades, right living is expected to outstrip material wealth in Ireland during the current fiscal year. That surplus is likely to grow in 2010 and 2011.
The Government also projects huge opportunities for frugality, going forward. In addition, we predict a dramatic increase in the amount of leisure time that will be available for devotion to things of the spirit, or whatever.
On the question of athletic youth contests, the picture is even rosier. Munster and Leinster are through to the last eight in the Heineken Cup. Bernard Dunne is getting a shot at a world title. And the new Lansdowne Road has cornered a European soccer final even before it opens.
As for the laughter of happy maidens, I passed a couple of hen parties on the way out to RTÉ this evening and I never saw people looking so happy. Based on the get-ups they were wearing, “maidens” might be overstating it. But at least they were laughing.
That’s the good news. The bad news, vis-a-vis de Valera’s vision, concerns the homesteads. The countryside is certainly bright with them, at least during the day. Not so much at night, unfortunately, since many of them are still empty.
The other black spot is industry. It turns out that in so far as there will be any fields joyous with its sounds over the next year or two, they may be in Poland and other low-wage economies; which is where the people who were meant to make our homesteads cosy have gone back to.
But all in all, if we look on the current crisis through Dev’s eyes, the new economic paradigm is not as bleak as it seems. I use the word “paradigm” deliberately, even though I have been criticised for doing so. Apparently nobody else knows what it means.
Maybe that’s why I like it. It has a calming effect on me, because it makes our problems seem more manageable. If I wasn’t able to say “the new paradigm”, I might be tempted to say we were up s**t creek without a paddle. And that might start another run on the banks.
WE HAVE A HISTORY in this country of using euphemisms during times of crisis. The second World War was ‘the Emergency’. Thirty years of war in the North was ‘the Troubles’. I’m hoping that “the new paradigm” will become the official description for the latest situation. That’s why I again invite you all to internalise it, as soon as possible.
I chose to evoke the address of Éamon de Valera earlier because a more recent precedent is embarrassing. Thirty years ago, another former taoiseach whose name I won’t mention went on television like this to say that we as a people were living way beyond our means.
He was certainly speaking from personal experience there. But when he said later in the speech that we would all have to tighten our belts, it turned out that he was the only one wearing braces.
The Irish people need have no fear that I will not share whatever hardships lie ahead. As a token of my personal commitment going forward, and inspired by my fellow Offaly man Barack Obama, I am pleased to announce that, earlier today, I joined a gym.
I will be working out at 5.30 every morning from now on, followed by a six-mile jog to Government Buildings. I hope soon to regain the gazelle-like shape I had when I played under-21 for Offaly. That was before I turned into a metaphor for the Celtic Tiger, with more than a decade of unchecked growth.
Barring injury, I plan to run the Dublin City Marathon next October, to raise funds for the Minister for Finance. Again, all donations are welcome: except – if you’re watching – from you, Ben. You’ll understand if I draw a line there. The gym membership was enough.
But getting back to politics, the opposition has an important role in the resolution of the current crisis and I hope it will play its part honourably. The fact is we are where we are, and there is no point now in anyone indulging in the blame game for whatever mistakes may have been made.
If I was to do that, I could point the finger at my immediate predecessor, who for years assured the economy of a soft landing. Then he handed me the controls of the plane and pressed his ejector button just before a flock of geese flew in to both engines.
He was in such a hurry getting out of here, he broke his leg. Now I’ve been left with a stricken aircraft to land, and I can’t see a river anywhere.
The important thing is not to panic. It’s only the new paradigm, after all.
I said in the Dáil a few days ago that I would lead the country my way. This may have sounded arrogant. But times of emergency call for strong leadership. So I make no apology for asserting my authority.
In the difficult months ahead, to use a popular phrase, it will have to be ‘my way or the highway’. And although I haven’t told the Minister for Transport yet, the highway has just been cancelled.
I WANT TO FINISH this broadcast by returning to de Valera’s vision: in particular to his hope that the firesides of Ireland would become forums for the wisdom of serene old age.
Given what’s happened to pension funds recently, I can’t promise serenity to anyone retiring in the near future. But I would urge all you seniors out there, if you can still afford a fire, to organise a forum around it as soon as possible. In the event that your wisdom throws up any good ideas for how we can get out of this mess, I’d be delighted to hear from you. In the meantime, good night, and good luck.”