Sisters ‘will never have closure’ after mother sides with abuser

Two sisters, whose stepfather was jailed on Monday for sexually abusing them over a 10-year period, say they would like their mother to face the full rigour of the law for not reporting the abuse to authorities.

Emma and Vanessa Witherow were abused by John Joe Patterson (55) a former bus driver and milk man with an address in Kilclooney, Moyne, Thurles.

He had previously denied 39 counts of sexual assault on Emma, which began when she was nine.

A jury at Nenagh Circuit Court unanimously found him guilty on each of the counts.

His wife Frances, the mother of the two girls, held her husband’s hand throughout Monday’s sentencing hearing which lasted more than three hours. Patterson was jailed for eight years with the final 18 months suspended.

Emma told the court that her mother still refuses to believe that the abuse occurred. “She totally denied everything she heard, and said I was only attention seeking.”

Patterson pleaded guilty to one of three counts of sexually abusing Vanessa, who was also nine years old when the abuse began.

Speaking on the Pat Kenny show, the sisters said no mother should put her children through what their mother had.

“She’s not entitled to the name mother. You don’t do that to your children. I mean she’s going to be the lonely one now. She picked him over us. I hope she regrets it,” Vanessa said.

Emma said she would never have closure when it came to her mother. “There’ll never be closure there. She’s still sticking by him. I’m a mother myself and I’d never do that to my kids.”

The sisters said she stuck by Patterson because she believed she’d have nobody if she took her daughters’ side.

Asked whether gardaí had contemplated charges against their mother the sisters said: “The initial complaint we made to gardaí was about him. It’s further down the line...it’s up to us now to push on about what we want with her.”

On the sentence handed to Patterson, Emma said she was expecting him to get more time.

“I was expecting him to get a bit more but the fact that he’s locked up and is doing time for what he did... it’s hard to tell how I feel really because I’m still in shock with it all. I was expecting him to get more but the fact that he’s locked up and I have closure now it’s a good thing I suppose, “ she said.

Vanessa said they had received great support from gardaí who “couldn’t have done enough for them.”

However she said she needs to work on her confidence and self-esteem every day to build herself back up.

“And I have got stronger (but) I will never think something is as it seems because I can’t. The impact and stress on my family . . . it’s every day.”

Emma left the family home aged 18 and took Vanessa, then aged 13, with her.

“I wasn’t leaving her to be his next victim,” she said. Unbeknowst to Emma, however, Vanessa was also being abused by Patterson since she was 9.

Emma said her mother never stopped her from taking Vanessa.

“In a normal household that wouldn’t happen. You wouldn’t see that today without someone asking questions. Our mother didn’t care about us,” Vanessa said.

Patterson attempted to abuse Emma even after she had left the family home.

“Yes he came to my rented home before I had my child but after I had my son he came to my home where I’m living now. The abuse didn’t happen that day because I held my son in my arms. And still to this day I feel very guilty for doing so. It’s like I used my own son to protect me. The abuse didn’t happen. But that was the last time he came,” she said.

“I said no I’m not that girl anymore, that my partner would be home and he said your partner’s just after going and that kind of freaked me out more because I knew then he was watching me.”

Both women said they had received great support from their partners although Vanessa said it was very hard for her partner to understand how a family could act in this way.