`Doomsday Book' lacks punch

THE package carrying Judge Buchanan's top-secret report was sealed, not with wax as one might expect for such an earnest opus…

THE package carrying Judge Buchanan's top-secret report was sealed, not with wax as one might expect for such an earnest opus, but common adhesive tape, and the brown A4 envelope was slim, clinching suspicions that the so-called "Doomsday Book" lacked a killer punch.

At midday yesterday, as planned, the judge arrived at Leinster House for the much-awaited handing-over ceremony. He and four or five support staff had spent the previous two months trawling through the Price Waterhouse report. Their mission was to get the names of politicians who had received payments from Dunnes Stores/Ben Dunne into the public arena.

Armed with two copies of the report, the judge went first to the handsome chamber of the Ceann Comhairle and then to meet the Cathaoirleach of the Seanad.

After all the guessing and conjecture, there had to be cameras and lights as the judge and the politicians nodded genially and the envelopes changed hands. But, elsewhere in Leinster House, tension was falling far short of fever pitch.

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The Ceann Comhairle, Sean Treacy, did not hesitate in his duty after accepting the report; down the corridor he went, post haste, to Room 114 where members of the Dail sub-committee were waiting, in camera.

Invariably a gilt-edged speaker, Mr Treacy told four of the five subcommittee members (Des O'Malley is visiting the UN in New York) that he wanted to "dispatch the report with all due haste". Four minutes later he left the room, and the cross-party group decided to throw the sundering of the seal open to the media in public session.

To complete this rite, the sub-committee and its legal adviser, Mr Hugh O'Neill SC, as well as attendant media had to move house, across Kildare Street, where the Oireachtas cameras were set rolling, and the group's chairman, Mr Michael Bell, performed the honours with a ballpoint pen.

Just before that, in a little cameo redolent of Brendan Behan's remark that the first item on the agenda is the split, Mr Eric Byrne, of Democratic Left, took issue with the minutes of the December meeting. Saying he wanted to "challenge the accuracy of item 3", he added that he was "personally disappointed" that Des O'Malley had nominated Noel Dempsey of Fianna Fail for the chairmanship of the investigating group.

"Noel Dempsey had to second himself", Mr Byrne said.

It then transpired that Michael Bell had seconded himself when nominated by Eric Byrne. The clerk, John Kissane, informed everybody that no seconder is required for a nomination!

After that brief quibble, it was timed to slash the envelope and release its contents. The blue, plastic-bound report was liberated at last. But the avaricious gaze of the media could not devour it yet.

Michael Bell had assured the gathering that, as far as was possible, all the sub-committee's business would be dealt with "in a public fashion".

Now, Mr Kissane would go off to get copies of the report for the subcommittee members, himself and their senior counsel. They agreed to meet in private session at 2 p.m., and the media could join them again after the TDs had considered how to proceed.

At 3.50 p.m. Mr Bell courteously apologised for keeping everyone waiting, but they would now place a copy of the report before Dail Eireann "in the public interest". This meant the contents would be freely available within the hour.

Copies of Judge Buchanan's report were soon circulating among the curious populace of Leinster House. There were four names; three of them were Haugheys; one was Lowry; there was no mention of £1.1 million or any Mister You Know Who.