Comedian Jason Byrnetells it how it was.

Where did you go to school?

Ballinteer Community School - a fine school on the southside of Dublin. We had riding lessons every Wednesday at 4pm.

Were you cool or were you one of the nerdy kids?

I suppose I was a cool nerdy kid, I was great with the lingo but I looked awful.

Give us an extract of a school report . . .

Nice to deal with. A bit dreamy, chatty, but a damn good horse rider.

Who was your favourite teacher in primary school and why?

Mr Murphy. He used to bring us on school trips all the time, and he taught me how to play the guitar and the flute.

How about secondary school? Anyone who you liked/ inspired you?

Our PE teacher Miss Horgan, she was the first woman to get us blokes into tights and do ballet - even the bullies. It was so funny. On the day we didn't have time to change and I ran home with the tights under my trousers, it took me ages to explain it to my mother.

Did you have a nickname?

No, not many. Just Redser, copper top, four eyes, Nestles, donkey and, my favourite, head for a face.

What was the first album you bought?

Family Album, I bought it off a mate of mine in school, so I could take advantage of the lingerie section, it was only later I found out it was free in the door anyway.

What's on your iPod now?

Everything the Pixies ever recorded.

What posters did you have on your bedroom wall?

A Back to the Future poster, but underneath, unknown to my parents I had a picture of Madonna.

Who was your first crush?

Madonna.

Who would play you in a movie of your younger days?

Malcolm, from Malcolm in the Middle. That was basically my mad life.

What did you study in college?

I did accountancy in college and I was asked to leave after a year, as I was told I was disrupting the college. The college, not the class - that's how good I was at messing.

Regrets? Have you had a few?

I wish I'd repeated my Leaving Cert, and that I didn't stick certain things into different areas of my life.

Jason Byrne plays Vicar St, Dublin on Thursday, September 20th. He is currently touring nationwide. See ticketmaster.ie for details.