THE FIRST FEW YEARS for parents are notoriously difficult. Lost in a haze of fatigue and conflicting advice, self confidence soon disappears and a real feeling of despair can set in.

Since 1988, the Eastern Health Board has been developing the Community Mothers Programme, an initiative that aims to help parents by providing non directive, parent to parent support through a trained parent living in the local community.

"At the moment 1,200 parents work with the community mothers in their areas every year, and we will be expanding shortly," says programme director Brenda Molloy. "We provide training and materials, and each community mother adapts the programme to suit the needs of parents in her own community."

The training lasts four weeks and uses the materials to looks at parenting philosophy and skills. "After the initial training the community mothers themselves meet once a month to provide peer support," Molloy says. "There is also a monthly meeting with the local family development nurse to discuss how things are going."

Each community mother visits approximately five families a month for their babies' first two years of life. While the meeting is structured, with a focus on how the child is developing and how parents are coping, any worries regarding parenting can also be discussed.

"The meeting is non didactic and the parents are seen as equals to the community mother," Molloy says. "They are encouraged to come up with their own solutions and their ideas are valued, so that they gradually develop some control over their role as parents."

Originally from Sandymount, Dublin, Liz Sheehy has been a community mother in neighbouring Irishtown for four years. When I had my first child my partner and I decided it would be a good idea to live in the country. In fact, I was completely isolated and felt very unsure of how to take care of my baby.

"So we moved back, and I heard about the Community Mothers Programme throngh the local resource centre. I thought it was a brilliant idea - just what I could have done with myself during my first year as a parent."

As a community mother, she has found that first time mothers often feel bewildered. "For various reasons I don't see that many dads when I visit, but I find the mothers are often dazed," she says.

"Sometimes when you land into motherhood you feel your foundations are completely shaken. Everyone is telling you what to do, no one gives you the same advice, and you lose faith in your own judgment. Your confidence ebbs away and parenting can seem like an overwhelming task.

"My role is to encourage mothers to trust themselves. I give them information, but they decide themselves what they think is best for their own child - and gradually you see them blossom and feel able to handle anything that comes up."

FOR THE PAST two years, Liz has been visiting Sharon Murray and her son Dean. "When I first heard about the programme I was very sceptical," Sharon says. "I thought I'd have someone in here interrogating me on what I was doing with the baby.

"But Liz was great, she was more like a friend. We would discuss all sorts of things - like whether or not to use a soother, what causes nappy rash, ways to help Dean's development - and she gave me a positive attitude to going back to work. My mother would be more inclined to tell me what to do, but Liz always encouraged me to use my own initiative and do what I thought was right.

"I was a very nervous first time parent, but I've learned a lot about children, and my confidence in myself has grown - so being a mother is more of a joy now.

The community mothers themselves benefit from the programme. "Many of the community mothers develop more confidence and go back to work, start a course or set up community initiatives like parent and toddler groups or breastfeeding support groups," Brenda Molloy says.

Liz Sheehy agrees. "I have found it a very enriching experience; I feel more part of my local community and I learn something new from the parents I visit all the time."