What a week! Again. Life fails to settle into a relaxed routine as my stress levels are on a continuous uphill struggle.

Contributing factors to the stress are my bike chain getting jammed at 8.50 a.m. when I'm a 20-minute walk from college. Then standing at the kerb, trying to wrench out the chain as considerate drivers all manage to spray me with the murky contents of the nearest puddle, at the same time as I hoped to get to a lecture that starts at 9.05 on the stroke.

Needless to say, I walked my bike to college that day. And the cheek of people to presume I wasn't in because I was out the night before - it was the "curse of the bike" striking again.

Then there's the racing around campus looking for different classrooms for tutorials, and the quest for books, pens, refill pads and all those little extras, the things that eat into your pocket and transform banknotes to piles of pennies. I'll just have to hide my ATM card - it's smoking in my wallet from excessive use.

Last Tuesday, as I waited for a maths lecture, one girl was saying goodbye to everyone. Naturally curious, I asked her why she was leaving us. Her answer: "I've got an upgrade and I'm going to see what another course is like." I felt sad she was leaving, happy she got her upgrade and worried that I hadn't heard anything about my English re-check.

At this stage, nearly all first- years are settling in. They have made friends and they are getting into the work. To uproot students to a different college, course or town is just plain unfair. In saying that, many will move because it's what they want, but they are disadvantaged, educationally and predominantly socially, which is far more important in the beginning. As fate would have it, I will be faced with no such dilemmas.

My nerves finally got the better of me and I rang Mam to see if I had received any mail, I hadn't. So in a mildly panicked, very nervous state I asked her to ring the school. Five minutes later I received a text - no change in my English grade.

All the bad feelings from August 15th were relived without any glimmer of hope. I am really disappointed with my result and I did question the effort I put in, but I realise that is a pointless thing to do because I know I have a good standard of English - I am writing for The Irish Times! The hard part is to accept that I had a bad day and messed up because I feel disappointed in myself.

If the examiners did not like my style of writing that is no problem. English is a risky subject and I would rather lose out for being myself than churn out textbook notes.

With a few days' hindsight, I realise the result is not important to me. I had forgotten about it until two paragraphs into this piece. I am enjoying my course, enjoying student life and the variety of choice college offers. I was not longing for more points - just curious - and I now I know. It is history at this stage because my life has moved on and is expanding, the Leaving Cert bubble has burst and I see it as nothing but a stepping-stone to bigger and better things.